Not that life at home had been bad, but with my mom working all the hours as a nurse at the hospital, I’d sometimes felt like Adam’s family was my real family growing up.
She turned to me. “River Charles Hartley, what are you doingnotin a suit? And I don’t want to hear any excuses about work. We closed the restaurant so you can enjoy the wedding and not worry. Do I need to have a word with Jack?”
I smiled. “It doesn’t take me long to get ready, Carla. I promise I won’t do any work today.”
She was right to worry. I’d been using work as a crutch for the last eighteen months, and my plan to stop involved…nothing I could afford to think about right now.
“Well, I’ll leave you boys to get ready,” she said. “Adam, honey, do you want me to send something up for you to eat?”
“Thanks, Mom. I had room service earlier.”
“Okay, in that case…” She gave us each a kiss on the cheek and left.
The click of the door closing shut sounded like a shotgun to my stomach.
You’ve got this.
Adam dropped on the couch in the suite. “Fuck, I need a coffee. Probably not the best thing to have when I’m already so nervous.”
I sat next to him, trying to find the guts I didn’t have.
“What’s that?” he asked, pointing at the paper in my hand. “No, don’t tell me. You wrote my vows because no one could trust me,someone who crafts words for a living, to do it myself.”
“Probably because up until two days ago, you were still rewriting them,” I said. “Not that you’ll need them now.”
“What do you mean?”
I held the paper up to him. He took it, his eyes filled with curiosity.
I couldn’t look at him while he read the letter, but I heard the intake of breath with every word. The gasp. The questions. Until it was just silence.
Dear Adam
I know you’re going to hate me for this, and you have every right to feel that way. Please know that I love you, and because of that, I have to do this.
I can’t marry you today.
Out of all the awful things I’ve done in my life, this is by far the worst. I know that.
I’m so sorry I’m leaving you to deal with the fallout. You don’t deserve it, but I’m selfish, and I know I can’t be there and handle the disappointment.
You have everyone around you. They’ll help.
I won’t ask for your forgiveness, but I hope you can someday understand why I’ve made this choice.
Love,
Victoria.
Slowly and reluctantly, I raised my eyes. Adam’s hands shook as he gripped the paper until his fingers were white.
“I’m sorry,” I said, barely a whisper, wanting to reach out and put my arms around him.
I’d never seen my best friend look so…lost, destroyed, betrayed.
“Sh-she’s gone,” Adam stammered, the sentence a blade that cut through the last thread of hope. The paper crinkled in his tightening grip.
“Hey, hey, look at me,” I urged gently, reaching out to steady his shaking shoulders. “We’ll get through this. I’m here for you, okay?”
