“River…” I moaned, his name falling from my lips as my pace quickened, chasing a release that scratched just under my skin.
Each breath came sharper than the last, punctuated by the rhythm I set against my own skin, desperately imagining it was my best friend guiding me to the edge.
In the steam-filled shower, where the world beyond the glass doors ceased to exist, I allowed myself this transgression. One I couldn’t name or comprehend, but it just felt so damned good, I couldn’t bring myself to resist.
The buildup of pleasure approached, relentless and consuming, as my breath hitched in my throat. My hand moved faster and faster until the tingling sensation in my balls built up to my spine. The elusive bliss that had hovered just out of reach was now within my grasp.
My thoughts swirled with the image of River, his smile, those almost-translucent eyes that mirrored the passion for all the things he loved.
With my mind filled with thoughts of my best friend, I came so hard I had to lock my knees so I wouldn’t slip down.
“Adam?” River’s voice pierced through the veil of steam, shattering the moment. My hand stilled, my eyes flying open to the clinical white bathroom tiles as I watched my release running down the drain. All evidence washed away. I stood there, water still cascading down my back, my heart thundering against my ribs.
“Y-Yeah?” I croaked, the word barely carrying over the sound of the shower.
“Everything okay?”
“Fine, just…dropped the soap.” The lie was clumsy. If I’d told him I was jerking off, he wouldn’t have thought anything of it, but with the realization of what I’d done hitting me, I couldn’t bring myself to even joke about it.
With trembling hands, I turned off the water, the sudden silence leaving room for my errant thoughts. Why River? Why now? The questions pummeled my conscience, each one a reminder of the line I’d unwittingly crossed.
“Lex asked if we’re meeting them for breakfast. They want to hit the beach before it gets too hot.”
I got out of the shower, avoiding looking at my reflection in the mirror.
“Sure. I’ll be right out.”
“Can you hurry up? Gotta take a leak,” River said, oblivious to my betrayal of our friendship.
Clutching a towel from the rack, I wrapped it securely around my waist, the fabric clinging to the dampness of my skin.
Stepping into the bedroom, I almost ran into River, who practically pushed me out of the way to get into the bathroom. At least that gave me some precious minutes to get my head straight.
“What were you doing in here that took you so long? Jerking off?” he asked from behind the door.
“What do you think? It’s my honeymoon, after all.”
My comment was met with silence until I heard the sound of the shower running.
I got dressed in my swim trunks and a T-shirt and went over to the balcony. Maybe fresh ocean air was what I needed to reset.
A large group of people took over a row of sun loungers by the pool. I tried to take my mind off what I’d done by people-watching, but then my gaze locked in on one of the couples in the group. Two guys sat facing each other on a lounger.
They were smiling and talking, and occasionally, they’d touch each other’s hands. I couldn’t tell if they were friends or more.
When someone brought them over their drinks, they toasted and then shared a short kiss.
I couldn’t look away even if I felt like I was intruding on their moment.
“You need to get a grip, Adam,” I muttered to myself as I sat on a chair facing away from the group.
“Hey,” River said, coming out to join me after a while. His voice was bright and happy like he was ready to face the day and have fun.
Fun.
I’d had some of that already.
“Ready to go down?” he asked.
