He grabbed a strawberry and brought it up to my mouth. I took a bite of half of it, and he had the rest.
It was sweet and juicy and perfect for a post-sex cuddling and feeding session. Shame I was going to ruin it all.
“You can tell me anything. You know that.”
“I wasn’t always the person my family thinks I am.” I paused, waiting for Lior to ask me what person that was, but he just grabbed a piece of mango and brought it to my lips.
I ate the mango and then took a sip of coffee, letting the caffeine filter through my brain.
“I fell in love in college. She was beautiful, smart, funny, and she had two sisters. I used to think she was the other part of me, down to her family setup. I fell so quickly that I didn’t have time to question it. It just felt good.”
Lior remained quiet but continued feeding me pieces of fruit before breaking a cinnamon roll into pieces and feeding me those too.
I waited for him to stop me and tell me he didn’t need to know this story, but he never opened his mouth other than to eat or sip his coffee.
I sighed. “I decided to propose to her just before a road trip we’d planned for the summer. She said yes. I was looking forward to the rest of our lives together. I could see it so clearly. My mom and dad holding their first grandchild, my grandmother helping us pick a name, my brothers being, well, bro uncles.” I laughed. “It would have been perfect.”
I closed my eyes when Lior peppered my neck and shoulders with small kisses.
“It turned out she’d been seeing another guy while she was with me. She decided she wasn’t ready to get married and left with him onourroad trip. At least she had the decency to only take her half of the money we’d saved, but she may as well have taken it all alongside my heart.”
Lior put the breakfast tray on the bedside table and snuggled back, wrapping his arms around my waist.
I turned to him, but all he did was kiss me gently before settling back against the headboard.
“I put the money away for the agency start-up capital and spent the summer working. Every day, I’d work twelve or fourteen hours, and in the evening, I’d go out. I didn’t want to spend money, so I’d go to a bar and find someone to hook up with before I had a chance to get a drink. It became my new normal. I didn’t have a heart to lose, so I had fun instead.”
“Do you think that’s all anyone sees in you?”
“That’s all there is.”
He cradled my cheek and turned me to face him. “It’s all you let them see, Noah. But it’s not all there is because if that’s the case, how do you explain what I see?”
I swallowed dry. “What do you see?”
“I see someone who’s incredibly generous with his time. Someone who loves his family and friends, someone who isn’t afraid to put himself out there. You’re smart and funny and so fucking gorgeous, Noah. That’s what I see.”
That lump in my throat threatened to make a return, but I swallowed it. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Would you…would you pretend you’re in love with me so my family believes we’re…you know…real?”
Lior
Pretend had never before sounded like such a dirty word as it did out of Noah’s lips.
How many layers could a single word have?
Could I pretend to pretend I was in love with my husband? I guessed that made it a two-layer word because I didn’t have to pretend to feel something I already felt. I was in love with Noah. No pretending needed.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to do it,” he interjected before I could say anything.
I claimed his lips in a gentle kiss. “Noah, I will do anything for you, you hear me? Anything.” And it was as much as I could confess to.
His eyes searched mine, but I was too scared they’d tell the truth, so I slid us down the bed. “Let’s have a nap, you have to be exhausted.”
“I am,” he said, yawning.
