“I like Tyler too.” I wink.
“You more than like Tyler.”
He lets his statement hang, and he’s not wrong. I way more than like Tyler.
“What are you going to do when we go on tour?”
“I haven’t thought about it, B. My priority right now is to get the media off my back. If they don’t back off, my only choice is to stay with you in Vermont until things go quiet and I can find me and Kay another place.”
“But you don’t want that.”
I stare at the handles on the cabinets. They’re old-fashioned but charming. Initially, I wanted to replace them, but they’re growing on me. There’s a reason I’ve been putting off thinking about anything to do with tours, Tyler, Kay, moving. Because none of those things are compatible, and I can’t go back to how things were.
“Of course not. My reasons to move here still stand, but now…”
“Now the press has found you, and if you stay, it’s only a matter of time until they find out about Kay.”
I don’t comment on his statement because it’s true.
“Not only that, but the man you love is also here.”
The coffee suddenly tastes too bitter, so I push the cup away.
“I am living my dream. I have a successful career, an amazing daughter, the best family I could want, and even my relationship with my mom has improved. I shouldn’t want anything else.”
He laughs. “It doesn’t work like that, honey. It’s okay for you to change your mind. To have new dreams.”
“I can’t just drop the band. It’s part of who I am.”
Bastian stands and walks to the large sliding door leading to the backyard.
“I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” he says. “We were so young when we started, and we haven’t stopped since. Look at us, Mik. We’re all older. The only people we trust are the ones within these four walls, and where’s our chance to have a family? When Kay came along, the whole band was so happy. We all had a chance to be someone special to that little girl. But what about…?”
“What are you saying, B?
“Maybe we can change our dream. God knows we’ve earned the privilege. Let’s record new music. Do what we want to do, but let’s set roots. Let us find our own Tyler.”
I put my arms around him.
“Thank you. I like that version of the dream.”
“No, man. I’m the one who needs to thank you because if it wasn’t for all of this, I probably would have continued to be a drone in the system. Write, record, perform, repeat.”
“Let’s speak to the guys after this gig. I can take Kay to your place, and we can all talk.”
He nods. “What are you going to do about Stillwater?”
“I love it here. Kay seems more settled, and Ty is here. But the press…”
“You’ll be old news soon. Maybe you won’t have to move.”
“Maybe.”
Bastian returns to the den, but I stay behind with the excuse of ordering dinner.
My mind is all over the place. Tyler’s taste lingers on my lips, even after the coffee. I have a feeling I’ll never get rid of it, nor do I want to.
Can I have it all? Kay, Tyler, a home life, the dad slippers, PTA meetings, while also doing what I love?
