“I don’t know, Tyler. There are many things I don’t know, such as if it was really you I thought I saw that night at the gig in Chicago. Why you never answered my calls. How have the last twenty-five years been for you. But there’s one thing I do know.”
“What’s that?”
“I still want to kiss you as badly now as I did when I was sixteen.”
No sooner are the words out of his mouth than he pulls me close and slams his mouth onto mine. The shock of seeing him, being so close to him, smelling him makes my brain stop its usual function. Suddenly, I’m that scared sixteen-year-old boy, and all I need is Mik’s lips on mine.
I fist my hands in his coat to keep him closer. His hand comes up behind my neck. Goosebumps erupt all over my body. His tongue does things to mine that I couldn’t describe if I wanted to write a song about them.
His thumb rubs circles on my cheek. I shiver, but it’s got nothing to do with the rain and everything to do with the man destroying my whole world with this one single kiss. A kiss I’m powerless to stop because I’m too scared of what happens when it ends.
The sound of roaring thunder breaks us apart. We’re both gasping for air. Mik’s hair is all over the place and dripping with rainwater.
My lips feel swollen, and when I lick them, I can still taste him.
What have I done?
“Ty…” He runs his hands through his hair.
I don’t let him say anything else before I bolt. I don’t exactly run because that’s painful with a fucking hard-on, but he doesn’t chase me either, so I keep walking until I’m on my doorstep.
8
MIK
THEN
I lookat the time on my watch and then poke a finger through the small hole in the hem of my Queen T-shirt.
Tyler is late. He’s never late. At least not when it comes to us spending time together at my place. My dad is at work, and Mom is out having tea with her friends at Knox Farm, so we can play our music without them questioning why I’m playing the guitar instead of the piano.
Should I call him? Maybe something happened.
I always tell him not to run home. One of these days, he’s going to get hit by the bus he refuses to catch.
The thought makes my heart tight. I don’t know what I would do without Tyler. Since we met, we’ve been at each other’s side. We’re each other’s best friends, even when I’d give a kidney or any other non-vital organ to be more than friends with Tyler.
Jeez, dramatic much?I need to stop listening to Radiohead. Or at least listen to more upbeat stuff.
It’s just that it’s hard to be in the mood for upbeat when the one person I love the most in the whole wide world is also the one I’m keeping the biggest secret from.
Yup, Tyler doesn’t know my parents—well, my dad—have been talking about me going to college out of state, even though it’s still two years away. I haven’t said yes, but I also haven’t said no. This is my dad. You don’t say no to Mikael Nilsson, Sr.
Too antsy to wait in my room, I walk outside to the front gate. It’s still hot. My shirt sticks to my skin as soon as I’m outside. I can’t wait to dive-bomb into the pool.
I’d give up my parent’s money any day for the chance to have the kind of life Tyler has with his dad. He may not be his biological dad, but I always feel like there’s a lot more love in their house than there is in mine. I still love having a pool though.
The bus no longer stops on our street, thanks to the residents campaigning for the route to change, so I keep my eye on the end of the road where I usually see Tyler turning the corner, more often than not, running.
This time, he’s not running. Yes, I see him as soon as he turns that corner. Probably because no one else on this street walks anywhere.
Tyler’s shoulders are hunched like he’s carrying something heavy, and today he doesn’t have his guitar.
I run over to meet him because I don’t have a good feeling about this.
“Tyler,” I call.
He looks up, and when he sees me, he runs, crashing into me so hard I almost lose my balance. I wrap my arms around him before I think if it’s inappropriate. We’re close, but we’ve never been that touchy with each other. I avoid it because I’m scared of liking it too much.
