I drop my head back. “Fuck, Bubble. I need to think straight.”
“I think that’s the crux of it,” he says. “Are you?”
I let out a breath and hold his hands, resting them against my chest. “I don’t know, and that’s the most honest answer I can give you. I married young and have only ever been with my ex-wife. I’ve always considered myself straight. I’ve never even looked at another woman.”
“So…you tripped on a tree log because of the snow and lost consciousness. Sustained some mild brain damage, and when you came to, you decided you wanted to kiss me. Is that it?”
I laugh. “I’m not sure about the brain damage, but I think I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time.”
“That must have been difficult to get your head around.”
He raises his hands to my face and circles my temples with his thumbs until he wraps his fingers around my hair.
“I’ve always known I like boys. I mean…I wanted to be like the girls. I envied them. But I always knew I wanted to kiss the boys. It wasn’t easy growing up being me. I loved all the things no one else in my class loved, so I didn’t have many friends. I guess that’s when I turned to myself and decided I would be my own best friend.”
He smiles, and I see no regret or sadness.
“I love every part of me. Yes, I’m a little crazy. Juju says I’m Bubblelicious. My boss and other friends may use different words to describe me—”
“Alive. That’s what you look like to me, Curtis. You are life.”
He lowers his gaze. “When you say things like that, you make me want to rip my clothes off and ride you like I’m the last cowboy in Texas. I’ve never even been to Texas.”
I shake my head. “See? Who else would say that?”
“I’d hope no one. I don’t deal well with competition.” He frowns.
“Competition for what?”
“For you, you big, sexy, silly hunk of almost-silver sexy fox.”
I bump his shoulder. “Hey, there’s no silver in this fox.”
He leans over so he’s more on top of me and starts inspecting my hair.
My body, as usual, reacts to his nearness, and he’s not immune either. I can tell he’s pretending not to notice, but the slight shift in his voice when he tells me he found a gray hair tells me otherwise.
I run my hands up his back and inhale. He rests his head in the crook of my neck, and we just stay like that.
“You always smell like strawberries. It drives me insane,” I whisper.
“It’s my favorite scent. I use it in my shampoo and shower soap.”
He feels so small on top of me. I know he’s not fragile. He’s an athlete who keeps a fitness regime. I felt the gripping power of his thighs earlier in the forest.
I slide my hands slowly toward the curve of his lower back. His loose sweater hides his shape, but in the position we’re in, it’s ridden up. When I feel warm skin under my fingers, I can’t help wanting more.
“What do you want from me, Riley?” he asks.
Curtis places his hands on my chest and raises his head to meet my gaze.
“I don’t know. I just know that you make me want things I’ve never wanted before, and I’m running out of excuses not to give in.”
“Then give in, Riley.”
I cup his ass, pulling him closer.
“I don’t want to use you, Curtis. You deserve better than to be an experiment, and I can’t promise I can give you more. Just because I’m discovering something new about myself doesn’t mean I need to act on it.”
