Page 22 of Antagonist


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“I can’t see a problem. Can you, babe?” Indy carries on.

“Nope.” Tate agrees.

Traitor.

“That’s not everything,” I say.

“Oh my god, after bumping into each other, you kissed in the supply closet at the school. You bad boy, Harrison,” Indy says in a too-chirpy tone for a sleep-deprived new parent.

“No! Of course not. Megan’s teacher wants us to lead the organizing team for this event the school has every year. Besides the fact that I have no desire to work with Fletcher, I also don’t have the time. Case in point, I was working until your dear husband called.”

“I think you should do it,” Tate says. “It’ll be good for you to step out of your comfort zone.”

“The benefit of being an adult is that I don’t have to step out of my comfort zone or spend time with people I don’t like. I pay my taxes, my insurance, and I have a steady job. Let me have my comfort zone.”

“Why are you resisting this so much?” Tate asks.

I sigh. I don’t know. Maybe because Fletcher scares me.

“I don’t know who I am when I’m around him,” I confess.

“Harrison,” Tate says, pausing. Whenever he calls me by my full name, I know he really means what he says. Jokes are set aside, and I get the Tate I was once in love with and thought I had a chance at a happy ever after with. “You’ve spent all your life doing the right thing by everybody. Have you considered that the reason this guy got under your skin so much in such a short time is because you need something more? I’m not saying you should marry him. Just work with him at this event and see if there’s more to your insane chemistry.”

“Since when have you become so emotionally connected?” I ask, trying to deflect because what he’s said hit me hard, and I need to get off this call.

“Ever since he met me,” Indy says.

“Listen, guys, I have an early morning, and it’s past midnight. You better get some sleep before Tyler gets you up again. Tate, it’s your turn next,” I joke.

“Don’t I know it,” he grumbles, but I know it’s all for show.

“We’ll see you Sunday, Harrison,” Indy says before disconnecting the call.

Yeah,see you on Sunday.

I'm rooted in place for a long time thinking about Tate's words. When I joked with Indy about my soulmate quota, I wasn't kidding. Tate was the first person I fell in love with. The first person I thought I'd have a forever with.

My love for him was so all-encompassing that I didn't realize I was suffocating him. We were young, and I didn't see at the time that I was desperate to hang on to him because, for the first time in my life, I was with someone who thought I mattered.

The end of our relationship nearly broke me. For the longest time, I didn’t think I could love anyone again until Stella weaved her way into my heart with her kindness, patience, and determination.

My love for Stella was as deep as my love for Tate but in a healthier way. She helped me see that she wasn't going anywhere, and I stopped being afraid of being alone.

But even that relationship didn't work. Although she did keep her promise to always be there for me. More so now that we have Megan.

There's no way I can be lucky enough to find love a third time.

I snort. Who’s even talking about love? Tate only said to see where this thing with Fletcher could lead. Talk about putting the cart before the horse.

I turn off my desk lamp and head to my room. As I remove my clothes, I realize Tate is right. I’m not wearing shoes, but I am still fully dressed as if I expect to be called at a moment's notice.

Am I really that person who can’t chill? I have plenty of fun with Megan, but…who am I when I’m not a parent, a friend, or an attorney?

I run my shower colder than usual to distract my brain because I don’t know if I like the answer to that question.

7

FLETCHER