It's not until I'm at the end of the driveway that I decide I'm not going home. I need to see Jud, so I take the turn to Burlington.
The bar is busy, and I see Noah and the guys at a small table close to the door.
I haven't seen them for a while, between the season, the show, and working the farm and market, not to mention the time I've been spending with Jud. I’ve missed all of our usual boys’ nights.
"Hey, guys." I pull up a chair and sit next to Noah.
"Hey, look who it isn't," Wyatt says.
"Well, he sure can't be our friend, Skyler, because he's too busy to hang out with his friends," Andy adds.
"Screw you," I say, and Wyatt and Andy give each other a heated look. "Ew. Noah, make it stop."
I look at the bar and can't see Jud or an opening to grab a drink anytime soon, so I grab Noah's cider and take a sip.
He gives me ahow dare youlook but then leans close.
"When's Judson leaving? I thought you still had to be free to film the live interviews after the show ends."
"What?"
The fuck is he talking about? Oh, he must have overheard Jud saying he's moving out of his parents' place.
"Tonight. He's packed already."
"Wow, really? What's he doing here? Shouldn't he be at the airport already?"
Airport?
My face must have shown confusion because Andy leaned over the table.
"He was talking to a guy earlier about going back to Paris. He has a restaurant there or something about expanding a restaurant. I'm not sure, they were whispering, and I didn't want to look like I was spying on them."
I'm lost for words. Jud is going to Paris?
"What I don't get is why the guy had a British accent but sometimes spoke in French," Wyatt says. "You think that's how it is in Europe? They all speak each other's language? Also, French-speaking Judson is H.O.T."
"Um, guys, I have to go. Just remembered I need to pack up an order to deliver in the morning. I'll see you all around."
I walk out of the bar and manage to keep it together until I get to my truck.
My legs feel weak as if I've had the rug pulled out from under me, and I'm falling to the ground in slow motion.
A few hours ago, my future was at the tips of my fingers, within my grasp, and now I feel like I've gone back ten years. Somehow, after everything that happened today, I stupidly thought that Jud and I were also a team. Maybe our dream would take a little longer, but we’d make it work.
Now I can see that wasn't his dream at all. I wasn't his dream.
I put the truck in gear and drive to the cabin.
Time to take back my life.
29
Judson
Ugh, this is like the shift that never ends.
All I want to do is go home, but since someone called in sick and there was no one else available, I volunteered to stay on.
