I still manage to see the ink he has all over his chest, down his trim belly, and hiding under his boxer shorts. There's some on his legs, too, but not as much.
I turn around to face the wall.
The confusion and sadness I've carried with me in the last ten years are evaporating faster than I expected, and I don't understand it.
He left out of the blue without saying goodbye. We were friends. Jud and Sky, inseparable from the moment we were born. And then it was just me, without my friend to lean on when I needed him the most.
I should still be angry. Why am I not?
"Night, Sky," he says, and I hear the sounds of the bedsheets as he gets into bed.
"Night, Jud."
I'm still confused as hell the next morning when Jud is quiet even through our pancake breakfast.
He makes all the right sounds and even chats with an old lady sitting next to us about the ratio of pancake to syrup to fruit. He argues that those fluffy pancakes need Nutella on them more than life needs water.
I snort as the lady looks at him like he's the devil incarnate, and I can't say I disagree with her.
I'm from Vermont, so it would be sinful to have anything but maple on my pancakes, but I have tried chocolate spread, and as nice as it was, it's not the same.
I'll die on that hill, even though I would be happy to compromise and allow a jar of Nutella to live side-by-side with my maple syrup just to make Jud happy.
Um…what now?
Jud's phone rings, taking me out of my stupid thoughts.
"Hey, Oz," he says, answering the phone.
Oz is one of the bartenders at Vino. Jud smiles, and I can't help feeling a little jealous that I haven't seen that smile directed at me today.
"Yeah, sure. I can cover for you. Okay, bye now."
He puts the phone back in his pocket. "I have to go back this morning. Oz needs me to cover his shift today, and I need the money, so…"
"That sucks, but that's adulting for you. Gotta do the right thing, yes?"
"Yeah." He looks down at his plate and pushes it away.
I don't feel hungry anymore either.
I don't even know why I'm disappointed that Jud is leaving early.
It's not like he could stay another night. He doesn't even have clean underwear or more clothes.
It's not like we'd be able to spend any time together. Saturday is the busiest day of the festival, so I won't be free until tonight and, by then, he'd be gone anyway.
Claire greets me with an all-knowing smile and a large coffee in a takeout cup. "This is yours if I get the dirty on your sexy friend with the blue eyes."
"You forget that I also had the pancake breakfast."
"You forget that I know how substandard the coffee there is compared to how heavenly the pancakes are."
Claire was there with James, too, but their family is here for the festival, which means she couldn't join us to grill Jud over breakfast.
"Damn you, woman." I take the coffee from her and take a sip. "Ahh, this is going to keep me going for the rest of the day."
Claire crosses her arms and taps her feet, waiting.
