My mom told me once that I've been protecting Jud since we were old enough to play with other kids. I once pushed a kid that took Jud's toy while we were at the playground. And it didn't stop there. As we went through school together, I was never very good at keeping my cool whenever anyone so much as looked at him wrong.
He hugs me tight before he pulls back, and I don't know what I see in his face, but the overwhelming feeling of wanting to make it better takes over.
"Come on. Let's have a warm drink inside. I'm quite attached to my balls and, at the moment, they feel like they could fall off from the cold."
Jud snorts and follows me.
He stops as soon as we're inside, his mouth falling open. "What is this place?"
I look around to see what he sees, and I feel nothing but pride.
So many hours spent ripping out fixtures, building new ones with Noah, and even bribing my brother with maple syrup in exchange for his help when he was home from college.
The cabin is a lot more modern on the inside than it looks on the outside.
"This is my place. I bought it and the forest six years ago after the old owner, Albert, died. I've spent a lot of time refurbishing it with Noah and Miles." I fill the coffee machine with water and grab two mugs from the cabinet.
Jud walks around the kitchen island, running his hand over the stone worktop.
"It's beautiful. The outside definitely doesn't give away what's inside."
I smile and then realize I have no clue if Jud drinks coffee, tea, or anything else.
"You drink coffee?"
"Yeah, black, no sugar," he says.
"The setup is intentional. The cabin belongs in the forest. When I'm outside sitting on the porch and looking out at the trees, I want to feel connected with nature, but when I'm inside, I want to feel connected with me."
"And that means a super-high-tech kitchen with two ovens, a stovetop, a big fridge…"
I laugh and shrug. "I can't cook to save my life, but I guess I hoped one day I'd be with someone who'd appreciate the modern fixtures."
"So you live here? What about the farm?"
I fill the mugs with coffee and bring them to the island, where Jud takes a seat on one of the stools.
"I live here part-time. I still work on the farm…well, at least until Miles comes back from college and takes over the business. It's not a drive I want to do every day, so I stay mostly with my parents unless I need time for myself or I'm working here."
Jud takes a sip of his coffee, staring at it for a moment.
"I'm sorry I left."
7
Judson
Skyler stares at me as if he wants to look deep into my mind to find answers, but he's also afraid of what he'll see there.
I don't know if I can give him the answers he wants. I don't know if I have them myself.
I don't even know why I said what I said.
Maybe it's because my head is all jumbled up.
Even though I didn't tell him what happened in Paris, just sayingsomethinghappened was enough to bring it all back, and then his hug…
Fuck. His hug was everything I didn't know I needed.
