I'm looking at a future where I am up here, in the Ivory Tower, doing a solitary job with so much responsibility. But I can also see the other side of my life, filled with laughter, love, and Ash.
"Dad, are you really ready to retire?"
He stares at me, looking disappointed.
"Are we having this conversation again?"
"No, we're having a different one. It's been nearly a month since you told me you are retiring. I've been selfish with my reaction and reluctance, thinking this is a burden I don't want. But you've always wanted this job, you live for it. So, my question remains, are you ready to retire?"
And it's like I see my father for the first time. I see the world through his eyes.
"No, I'm not ready."
"You're not sick, are you?"
The thought is like a stone in my stomach, but why would my father want to give up his dream so early?
"No, son. Thankfully, I am in very good health, and so is your mother. What we told you is the truth. I've given all my life to this business and it's time I give something back to your mom. The best thing I can give her is my time."
"I haven't taken over the job officially, but I'd like to offer you another job. Would you retire, take six months to a year off to travel and spend time with mom, and then return as a part-time consultant?"
He looks at me with an unreadable expression. The businessman is warring with the husband.
"Dad, you saw it with Jessop's issue, which we still need to close, by the way. We make a good team. You still have so much to teach me. If this is truly a family business, then let's make it one. Think about it, okay?"
He nods, so I leave him to think about my words and head on to the market.
The line to get Ash's grilled cheese goes quickly, and while I'm waiting for it, I pick up his coffee.
"Hey," I say as I go around the stall. I pull him into my arms and kiss him.
"Damn, it's a good thing not all my customers kiss like that or I'd need to see a doctor for my permanent erection," he says in a low voice, so the people in the other stalls don't hear.
"I hope none of the other customers kiss you at all."
He presses his lips to mine again, and I feel his tummy rumbling.
"Food. You need food," I say, handing him the paper bag with his grilled cheese.
He smells it and takes a bite.
"Hmm, this is amazing. Thank you so much, Xander."
I watch as he eats his food and drinks his coffee, helping when he has a customer.
"Damn, I feel a lot more human again," he says.
"So, now you're fed and…human, you can tell me what you didn't want to tell me over the phone."
His face falls.
"Um, Xander, I'm so sorry, but I can't attend your family party."
19
ASH
Xander's face falls,and I hate that I'm the one that made it that way.
