No, I needed to do a man's job because I was strong and straight, and one day I would marry Paula because she was my best friend.
I laughed. So much for taking in the feel of Lisbon when I'd been walking for around two hours lost in thought. I found myself in downtown Lisbon near a famous café known for its custard tarts. Dri had been addicted to custard tarts so he'd buy them anywhere he could, although more often than not they were from a store. It had been a while since I'd had one in a café, especially one that made them on site.
Before I could go in something pulled at my coat sleeve. I turned to see an older Gypsy woman looking at me and thrusting a small bouquet of dried flowers in my direction. Her clothes were well-worn, but the scarf on her head was full of bright colors in a traditional pattern of gold and red flowers.
"Oh, no, thank you." I tried to decline the offer. She was probably trying to get some money from me.
"For the love of your life," she said. Her eyes were bright green and didn't go with the dark color of her skin and the wrinkles that adorned her face.
Maybe it was the mood I was in, or maybe it was the piercing look she gave me. I couldn't dismiss her.
"I'm afraid the love of my life is no longer with us."
She took my hand and turned it over so my palm was facing up before looking closer and tracing some of the lines in my hand.
"My son, we can have more than one great love in our lifetime." She placed the small bouquet in my palm and wrapped my fingers around it. Then she smiled at me and left.
I stared at her as she disappeared around the corner. I considered chasing after her to tell her she was wrong and to return the flowers, but decided against it and went into the café instead. What I needed was a custard tart and a coffee. Putting the small bouquet in my pocket, I approached the counter to place my order.
After an afternoon of reflection, I was considering accepting Bernardo's offer. I decided I would attempt reaching out to Mateus once again and then make up my mind.
The call was about to go to voicemail when I heard the voice on the other side.
"Hi, Dad."
Those two little words nearly brought tears to my eyes.
"Mateus, son. I'm so—"
"Wait, Dad. Let me speak."
"Okay."
"Look, I trust that you didn't know, and I think Dad probably thought he was doing what he thought was best, as always."
I let out a choked laugh, he was so right. Dri did think he always knew best. He'd done everything with the best intentions, and he'd had the biggest heart of anyone I'd ever met, but man, did he think he knew it all.
"Thing is, Dad, I don't know who I am now. Everything I knew to be true about where I come from isn't, and I need some space to come to terms with it and figure out what I'm going to do. I just need some space, okay?"
If it meant I wasn't going to lose my son I was willing to give him all the time in the world.
"I'll be here when you're ready, Mateus."
I paused, considering how to tell him about Lisbon.
"I'll speak to you soon, Dad."
"Wait, please. There's something I need to tell you. I've been offered a partnership in a different company. I'm considering it."
"That's great. I think you should take it."
"They're based in Lisbon."
"Are you going to move there?"
I really wished I could tell from his voice how he felt about this.
"Temporarily, yes, if I take the job. I may be able to negotiate working from a satellite office in Porto."
