"Is it because they roar really, really loud?"
I heard Vítor mutter under his breath, "It's because they sleep all day," but then he said to Filipe, "because they live in a big family."
Vítor's joke made me laugh, but the last statement cut through to my heart.
"I have a big family, too," Filipe said, holding on to Vítor's hand on his other side and leading us toward the entrance gate. "I don't have a mummy and daddy. Well, I have Aunt Tee and Uncle Rio. They're like my mummy and daddy because they look after Bruno, too. Bruno is my big brother, and I have Uncle David and Uncle Joel, and Uncle Max and Uncle Isaac." Filipe carried on naming all the adults in his life, including all the extended family that had adopted him and Bruno into their lives.
He was so excited we had to look for the lion enclosure first, which of course was at the other end of the zoo. Not that Filipe minded because he didn't stop chatting to Vítor for a single moment. I couldn't even remember when I last heard Vítor speak. He was simply smiling and nodding at everything Filipe was saying.
I wondered if Vítor had any children. Many times, I'd caught my friends totally engaged in Filipe's conversations and could see the longing in their eyes to have children of their own. The way Vítor was looking at Filipe was different; it was the look of a parent who wanted to protect their child from the bad stuff around them.
Vítor would have questions about Filipe. Everyone always did once they got to know him. How did a little boy that had gone through so much in his short life have so much happiness, love, and trust within him?
Part of me wondered if the reason we hadn't veered into personal territory during our many conversations was because we were both afraid to get too involved. I could tell we were already both struggling with our attraction to each other, because too often we'd caught ourselves flirting as we'd worked around each other in the apartment. Our text message conversations when we were both at work had been my lifeline all week when I was dealing with the leak the plumber finally found in the kitchen.
"Uncle Tiago, why are they sleeping?"
"What? Oh, the lions." I'd been so lost in my own thoughts that I'd forgotten to listen. "That's because lions sleep sometimes twenty hours in the day."
"They sleep all day?" His wide-open eyes and mouth made me laugh.
"Did you know lions like to play at night and that's why they sleep during the day?"
"Wow."
He pressed his hands and face to the glass separating us from the animals. Filipe was so enraptured by the lions, Vítor and I decided to sit on a nearby bench and wait for our sign to move on to other animals.
"He's a very special young boy, isn't he?" Vítor said, resting his arm behind me on the back of the bench.
"He is."
"Do you do stuff like this with him often?"
"As often as I can. Bruno is raising him on his own, and he works a lot. David doesn't mind him being in the café after school, but during the vacations, it's a little boring for him. I try to do educational stuff with him or take him to the beach. Bruno is a great guy, so I'm just doing my bit to help out."
He looked at me like he was trying to read my soul.
"Is that the only reason?"
No, it wasn't, but I didn't want to talk about it, so I got up and asked Filipe which animals he wanted to see next. After taking a few photos of Filipe with the sleeping lions in the background, we went to see the elephants.
I saw Vítor's gaze on me throughout the day. He didn't touch on the subject again, but I could tell my reaction had bothered him. Part of me wanted to tell him about Afonso, and part of me was reluctant. For as long as Vítor didn't know about Afonso, I had a little part of my life where I could be myself rather than the person on an endless search for his younger brother. The problem was that I wasn't sure how good I was at being myself any more.
When Bruno joined us in the afternoon, we'd had to wait for Filipe to catch him up on everything he'd seen before I could introduce him to Vítor.
We saw the dolphin show and went into the farm animals' enclosure where Filipe was able to pet some of the animals. I thought he was going to explode from excitement.
"Can I go on the rides, Bruno?" Filipe asked as we approached the small amusement park inside the zoo.
"You guys have a rest. I'll keep him busy for a bit," Bruno said.
There was a small coffee shop nearby, so we grabbed a coffee and sat on the metal chairs outside.
"So, what do you think of Lisbon Zoo? Is it everything you imagined?" I teased. "I bet you've never had this much fun in your life."
"It's been great, but I'm a little disappointed." His blue eyes looked anything but disappointed.
"Why are you disappointed?"
