"Pass, I'd get diabetes in three days flat from pastries and your sickly-sweet love."
When Joel joined us, we'd already done the baking workshop schedule and a shopping list, so they went back to Caparica and left me to my work and thoughts of the man I wanted to jump but couldn't. They'd also left behind the box that still contained two custard tarts, one of which I was going to save for Vítor.
While the day started well with my friends' visit, it went downhill very quickly. I was starting to think this was now my life.
The water company sent us a bill that was more than double our normal amount. After hours on the phone with numerous customer care assistants and going through all the bureaucracy that came with having to explain why it was me on the phone and not Isaac, I managed to speak to someone who still had both halves of their brain talking to each other.
"To be honest, Tiago, I can't see an error in the system. I was hoping there was one because if the charges are correct, then it means you have a leak somewhere in the building."
"Fuck my life. I don't need this," I muttered to myself but clearly not quietly enough because the guy on the other end of the phone laughed.
"You need to call the maintenance helpline. They'll arrange for a certified plumber to inspect the property. If it turns out you have a water leak, they can help fix it. If not, then you'll need to come back to us so we can have another look at the bill."
The only thing that was keeping me from having a mental breakdown was the stress ball I was holding in my hand. It was bound to burst any time now from being overworked, and it wouldn't even be the first time that had happened, or the second.
By three in the afternoon, I'd spent a total of four hours on the phone, mostly on hold, and had explained the problem to at least five people. By six, I still didn't have a plumber willing to come to inspect the potential leak.
"Can I speak to Oliveira, please? Tell him it's Tiago from Fundação Arco-Íris." Oliveira worked for Lisbon city council and was one of the few people I knew there who used their power and influence to help people.
"He's not available, sir. Can I book an appointment for another time?"
"He's never available. Please tell him it's me. He will pick up my call."
For all the challenges I faced and the damned homophobic bastards that put walls in my way, there were still a few places I could go to. Oliveira always listened without judgment and then decided if he could help or influence a decision. He was also a straight-as-an-arrow married man with two children. He was the personification of an ally if there ever was one.
"Tiago, my man, what's up?"
"Oli, I'm having the day from hell and I need some strings pulled if you can help."
"Any time, man, you know I've got your back. Tell me what's going on."
I explained what was happening and the risk to the building and neighboring buildings if there was a leak. Delays with the inspection could put not only me and the kids at risk but also the businesses and residences right next to us. In recent years there had been far too many buildings collapsing in the center of Lisbon for me to afford to take this lightly.
Oli, as always, was fully supportive and promised to do what he could to help, and I had no doubt that help would come. Just like he was the string I could pull, he also had his own strings in the form of his dad, the former president of the city council and one of the most respected retired politicians in the city.
By the time I pulled up at the apartment, my head was banging and I wasn't even sure I could be bothered preparing a sandwich to eat.
Unfortunately, my tummy rumbled as soon as I got out of the elevator and smelled whatever the neighbor was cooking, so I knew I definitely couldn't get away with going to bed on an empty stomach.
The smell was somehow stronger when I opened the door to the apartment, and I realized that in all the stress of the afternoon, I'd forgotten I now had a roommate. One that seemed to be an excellent cook.
Perfect, just what I needed. Food envy for the next two months.
