Isaac
How couldI ever have believed that surfing or working would ever replace the space that Max occupied in my heart?
They were just placeholders for the real thing.
The verysame real thing that just told me he was going to kiss me. Even though the words had come out of his mouth, he hadn’t actuallydone it. He looked at me intently, almost asking for permission. Like I would say no.
My hands were on his waist as if I needed to hold on to him to keep me grounded. I closed my eyes and felt the wetness of his tongue running over my lower lip where his fingers had been moments ago. That took me by surprise. The breeze chilled my wet lips before the warmth of Max’s mouth covered them fully.
It was slow, soft, and damned promising, like he was both apologizing for the misunderstandings and putting them all behind us with one kiss.
I could have melted into him. Merged like those thin blocks of Lego that won’t separate once they’ve stuck together.
Max’s had my hair wrapped in his hands, and his body was pressing me into the railing as though he wanted to make sure I couldn’t escape.
Why would I want to when I hadn’t felt more at home, safe, cared for, and understood than when I was in Max’s arms?
Max put somespace between us much sooner than I’d wanted, making me wonder if he hadn’t enjoyed the kiss as much as I did.
“Fuck, Isaac, take him off me,” he cried.
Max turned around, and I saw Max using his claws to cling onto Max’s back. I laughed as I released the cat.
“Come here, you. Were you saving me from the big, sexy man?” I held the cat in my arms and gave him a soft squeeze and rubbed his neck. “You will have to make friends with Max because he’s our guest this week. Okay?” I heard a soft purr, which I took as an acceptance from my feline savior.
Max’s breath in my ear was warm as he wrapped his arms around me from the back and stroked the cat.
“I guess I’m staying for the week,” Max confirmed to the cat as I melted into his chest, his breath on my neck.
“Shall we go inside? It’s getting chilly out here.”
My shiver had nothing to do with the cool evening air and everything to do with having Max pressing against me. In fact, I wasn’t shivery at all. I was very much warm all over.
I closed the balcony door and locked it behind us, but I left the curtains open since no one overlooked us. My apartment faced the river, and sometimes during the night when I got up for a drink, I liked seeing the night sky when everything was dark and quiet.
“Let’s give you a snack and then you have to go to bed. You’re too young to be up late,” I said to the cat.
When I came back from the kitchen, Max was once again facing the balcony doors. He turned when he heard me.
“Isaac.”
“Yeah?”
He ran his hands through his hair as though he’d forgotten it wasn’t there any longer. “I want to take you to bed so bad it’s like I’m not even in control of my body anymore. But I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
I felt a pang of rejection, but deep down, I knew Max was right. As much as we had resolved our communication problems, there was still one massive issue over our heads. Max lived in Manhattan and I lived in Lisbon.
“I know. You’re right. It would make things really messy.”
“Friends?”
“I’d reallylike that,” I said and walked to him for a hug.
Max gave me a quick kiss on the lips and asked if we could watch some TV for the rest of the evening.
We ended up watching a Portuguese telenovela.
It had been a long time since I’d had such a relaxing evening. Even though Max and I had agreed to remain just friends, somehow having him near me was enough. I’d have taken friendship with Max any day over not having him in my life at all.
