Max
Hamptons,New York
It felt strange getting out of Manhattan, even just for the weekend, but Joel was right, coming to his grandmother’s house in the Hamptons was a great idea.
I couldn’t remember when I’d last had some real time off with no agenda. Well, at least not since Portugal earlier in the summer.
As I sat outside in the lounger on the back patio, wrapped up in a blanket to protect me from the sudden chill of the early September Atlantic breeze, I couldn’t have felt more relaxed.
Joel and David were in charge of dinner tonight, so I’d come out to catch the last of the afternoon’s sun.
I was also finding it hard to be near them for long periods of time because, as much as I was happy for my friends, I couldn’t stop thinking about how I’d been so close to having what they have.
I stared out onto the horizon and tried to think of something else, anything else. There were couples walking along the shore, close enough to the water thatit was easy to walk on the sand, but not close enough that they’d get their feet wet.
A little boy chased a small dog that was running in circles around him. His parents were watching closely from their beach chairs.
It had been a long time, but I still remembered what family days out like that felt like. When I was young, even though my parents couldn’t have afforded to come anywhere near the Hamptons, we still had a good time.
Then I remembered the weekends away with a different family. Sílvia, Gary, Joel, and I, here in this verysame house, having dinner outside on a warm summer evening.
Those weekends had saved me from taking a wrong turn in my life. Sílvia and Gary hadn’t had a clue that the boy they treated like a son was living on the streets. Those weekends kept me focused on what I wanted as a grown-up. Safety, family, warmth, and love.
I’d been so lucky then, and I knew it. Ryan hadn’t been so lucky. My sudden train of thought brought on pain I didn’t want to revisit, and I wondered if I should head back inside until I noticed a figure in the distance.
The first thing I saw was wild, curly hair that flew out of control in the breeze. I couldn’t see his face because he was facing the other way, but my heart felt like it was beating out of my ribcage.
The man approached a couple walking a dog. There was somediscussion and then they pointed in my direction. My ears were ringing and my hands shook, my skin itched like it was full of ants having a party. No, it couldn’t be.
The guy nodded at the couple and then turned. I closed my eyes.
I wasn’t sure what I was more afraid of if I opened them. That the guy might be Isaac or that he might not be.
I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. The guy wasn’t there anymore. What the fuck? I scanned the beach to see where he was, wondering if maybe I’d imagined it.
The disappointment hit me like a punch to the gut. I hadn’t imagined the slim, curly-haired guy. He was now walking with purpose toward the house next door. He also wasn’t Isaac.
“Fuck!” I shouted as I ran my hands through my hair and rubbed my eyes.
“Hey, what’s up?” Joel said, sitting down on the chair next to mine, placing two cups of hot sweet tea on the small table.
“Nothing, is dinner nearly done?”
“Not quite. David kicked me out of the kitchen. Apparently, I was too distracting,” he said with a huff.
“You guys together and this tea are enough to put me in a diabetic coma.” I took a sip and immediately, the warmth of the tea seeped through my bones.
“How are you feeling?”
“Chilled. Physically and figuratively.”
“Max.”
“Fine.” I sighed. “I miss Isaac, okay? I miss the Isaac I met last Christmas. The Isaac who brought me to my knees with one look of those beautiful blue-green eyes.”
My chest felt tight, but now the dam had burst I couldn’t contain it any longer.
“I wish I’d never bumped into him this summer. I wish I had a chance to still fly out there and be his romance-novel-worthy New Year’s kiss like I’d planned. But I’m afraid too many misunderstandings have already come between us, and I don’t think I can live through watching him walk away from me one more time.”
