Thinking about my dad was different. Sometimes you’re afraid of going down a particular road because you’re unsure of what you may find there. You can be excited at the prospect of finding nice buildings, some shops, interesting people, but you may also find it to be derelict, filled with trash and bad people. The thing is, you don’t know unless you take the turn and find out. And that’s where I was, in a constant battle of wills between going down that road and staying put.
“How about we get back to our spot? I could do with a cold drink,” Joel said.
“Best idea you’ve had all day,” I said, smiling at him.
“Oh, it isn’t. It’s just the best one I said out loud.”
We spent the rest of the afternoon on the beach. We weren’t in a rush to go back home early since I still had a few days off work, so we decided to have dinner at a local restaurant that was well known for its fresh seafood and great service.
On our way to the restaurant, my phone rang. I hadn’t had any calls all week, and I’d almost forgotten that I had the phone with me. I looked at the screen and saw it was Isaac.
“Olá, Isaac, how’s it going?” I held the phone with one hand and reached out for Joel’s hand with the other.
“You tell me. I don’t see you for a few weeks, and next thing I know, you can’t take your eyes off your mystery guest in your video. Who is he?”
“Um, just a friend,” I said, looking at Joel who was looking back at me with reticence in his eyes.
“It didn’t look like just a friend. Have you watched your video back? I don’t think anyone is going to be following the recipe when they can watch the sexual tension unfurl on-screen instead.” He laughed, and I could imagine he’d be elbowing me if he was here.
“That’s not—”
“Oh my God, David, is that Joel with you in the video?”
I’d told Isaac about Joel a few years ago. We’d gone out to a club in Lisbon where he now lives, and he was determined to get me to hook up with one of two guys that were hitting on us. I ended up drunk on Isaac’s sofa telling him why I couldn’t hook up with any guys. I went as far as saying I didn’t think I was gay at all because I didn’t like any guys other than Joel.
Of course, he’d laughed at my statement, but I’d felt his support for the feelings I was carrying for a person I hadn’t seen in years.
“Yes,” I acknowledged. “That’s him.”
When I said that, Joel’s eyes narrowed as though he knew we were talking about him.
“Look, was there a reason for your call? I’m about to catch dinner, so I have to go,” I said, trying to end the conversation.
“Okay, Mr. Avoidance. We’ll talk about it another time. I just wanted to check that you were still up for that custard tart making class with the kids in a couple of days. They’re really looking forward to it.”
“Oh yeah, absolutely, it’s in my planner. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. It’s been a while since I was at the center, and I miss those kids. I’ll see you in two days, yeah?”
“Awesome. See you then. Bye.”
I ended the call and walked into the restaurant with Joel. He was quiet as we were shown to our table by the waiter. The restaurant wasn’t very big. There were a few saltwater tanks with lobsters and crabs waiting to be chosen by customers for their meals. Most tables were filled with local people, which I loved to see since it meant the food was of good quality.
“What do you feel like eating?” I asked, but Joel kept his face down, looking at the menu, so I persisted. “Joel, is everything okay?”
“I’m not very hungry. I’ll just have a snack.”
“What are you talking about? You said you were starving only a little while ago.” I was struggling to think of what had happened to change his mood. Did I do anything wrong?
The waiter interrupted us asking if we wanted any drinks. I ordered a soda since I was driving, and Joel ordered bottled water.
When the waiter left to get our drinks, I couldn’t wait any longer. I hated this tension, so I left my side of the table and moved my chair so I was sitting next to him. I grabbed his hand under the table and gave it a squeeze.
“Sweetheart, are you okay? Did I do anything to upset you?
“No, I’m just a little jealous,” he said, keeping his gaze down.
“What are you jealous of?”
“The phone call reminded me that the outside world was bound to intrude on our time together and you won’t be just mine anymore.”
