“That’s not what this is.” His voice is firm, earnest. “Amy waking up didn’t create these feelings. It just made me realize how stupid I’ve been for denying them. I’ve been in love with you for weeks, Alexa. I’ve been in love with you and Ash and the life we were building together, and I was too much of a coward to admit it.”
The words threaten to knock me off-kilter, and at first, I’m sure I heard wrong.He loves me. He loves us.
“I miss you,” he continues, his voice softer now. “I miss the easy way we worked together, the way you made everything feel manageable. I miss watching you with Henry, seeing how patient and loving you are. I miss Ash showing me his projects and asking me questions about everything. I miss feeling like I belonged somewhere besides the hospital.”
He laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “I was so scared of getting close to you and then disappointing you, of choosing work over you like I always do, that I made sure to lose you before we even got started.”
I want to believe him. God, I want to believe him so badly it physically hurts. But I’ve been disappointed before. I’ve had someone tell me they loved me and then leave anyway.
“Jordan, I gave you my notice last night. I’m interviewing for another job tomorrow. I’m selling my house and moving across town. You can’t just show up and expect me to believe you and drop everything.”
“I know.” He holds up his hands. “I know the timing is terrible. I know I have no right to ask you to reconsider after how I treated you. But I had to try. I had to tell you how I feel before it’s too late.”
“What exactly are you asking me?”
“I’m asking for a chance. A real chance.” Jordan takes another step closer, close enough that I can see the sincerity in his eyes. “I want to be your partner, Alexa. I want to help you raise Ash and care for Henry and introduce you to Amy. I want to be part of your family, and I want you to be part of mine.”
My heart flutters its way into my throat. I want to say yes to it all, but I need to be careful. I need to be practical. “And if I still decide to move? If I still want a fresh start away from here?”
“Then I’ll follow you. I’ll find a job at a different hospital. I’ll do whatever it takes to be where you are.” His voice is steady, certain. “I don’t care where we live as long as we’re together.”
The sincerity in his voice, the determination in his expression, breaks through every wall I’ve built around my heart. This isn’t the guarded man I’ve been dealing with for weeks. This is the man who played soccer with Ash in the backyard, who laughed when Henry peed on him during a diaper change, who looked at me like I was everything he never knew he wanted.
“I want to be your boyfriend, Alexa. If you’ll have me. I want to take you on dates, meet your friends officially, and be the person Ash can count on to show up for soccer games and school events. I want all of it.”
Boyfriend. The word sends a thrill through me that I haven’t felt in years.
“You hurt me,” I tell him, needing him to understand the cost of his walls, his distance. “Feeling like I didn’t matter to you after what we’d shared, it really hurt.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He reaches for my hands, and this time I don’t pull away. “I never want to hurt you again. I want to spend every day proving that you matter to me, that youallmatter to me.”
I study his face, looking for any sign of doubt or hesitation. But all I see is love and hope and a vulnerability he’s never let me see before.
Amy is awake. Henry’s mother is going to be okay. And Jordan is standing in my living room telling me he loves me, asking for a chance to be the partner I never dared to hope for.
“Jordan,” I whisper, and before I can say anything else, he’s kissing me.
It’s everything our almost-kiss wasn’t. Urgent and desperate and full of weeks of pent-up longing. His hands frame my face like I’m precious, like I’m something he can’t bear to lose again. And I kiss him back with all the love I’ve been trying to deny, all the hope I’ve been afraid to feel.
When we break apart, we’re both breathing hard. Jordan rests his forehead against mine, his hands still cradling my face.
“Is that a yes?” he asks, and I can hear the vulnerability beneath the hope in his voice.
Instead of answering with words, I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight, feeling like the house we’re standing in just became even more of a home.
“That’s a yes,” I whisper against his neck. “That’s definitely a yes.”
EPILOGUE
ALEXA - ONE YEAR LATER
Ipush through the back door with a tray of hot-dog buns, scanning our crowded backyard with satisfaction. The picnic table groans under the weight of way too much food, and our guests are scattered across the lawn in various states of relaxation and play.
Dr. Ferrera and Dr. Abrams from Jordan’s work are deep in conversation near the grill. Jordan and Amy’s parents, Frank and Linda, drove up from Florida just for today’s gathering, and they’ve been doting on both boys with the enthusiasm of grandparents making up for lost time. Esme arrived about an hour ago with store-bought brownies and her new boyfriend Daniel, whom I’m meeting for the first time but already like; he spent time patiently teaching Henry how to honk the horn on his toy tractor.
And then there’s my family. Jordan chases eighteen-month-old Henry around the base of the enormous pirate-ship playset he gave Ash last Christmas, both of them laughing as Henry toddles away on his chubby legs, shrieking with delight every time Jordan pretends he’s going to catch him. The playset dominatesone corner of the yard with its climbing walls, slides, and rope ladder, though Henry is still too young for most of its features.
What Henry lacks in climbing ability, he makes up for in enthusiasm for his red motorized tractor. The little John Deere sits abandoned near the flower beds where he parked it before Jordan distracted him with the chase game, but I know it won’t be long before he’s back to “mowing” the grass and beeping the horn at anyone who’ll listen.
