“You don’t know that.” Even as I say it, though, my heart skips a beat.Is he? Really?
“I’ve seen the way he looks at you. The man is smitten.”
“Even if that were true, which it’s not, there’s obviously something major going on in his life that he doesn’t want to share. Getting involved with someone who has that many secrets seems like a recipe for disaster.”
“Or maybe he just needs someone who cares enough to stick around while he figures his life out.”
The jazz trio finishes their set, and the club begins to fill with the louder conversation of people settling in for the night. I check my phone and see that it’s almost ten.
“I should probably head home soon,” I say. “Make sure Ash hasn’t convinced Jordan to let him stay up until midnight.”
“Fine, but this conversation isn’t over. You deserve to be happy, Alexa. And if Jordan makes you happy, maybe it’s worth taking a risk.”
As we pay our tab and gather our things, I think about what Esme said. About taking risks, about sticking around while someone figures their life out. About deserving happiness.
But I’ve been down that road before, with Ash’s father. I’ve learned what happens when you invest everything in someone who isn’t ready to invest back.
Still, as I drive home through the quiet streets, I can’t stop thinking about Jordan and Ash probably asleep on the couch together, about Henry safe in his crib, about the family they’ve all become in my mind.
The reality check hits me as I pull into my driveway. I can’t afford to pursue these feelings for Jordan. This job is too important, too perfect for my situation. Fifty dollars an hour, flexible schedule, work right next door, and I get to bring Ash with me. If I make things awkward by developing romantic feelings, I could lose all of that.
And then what? Back to applying for marketing jobs that don’t call me back? Back to worrying about paying bills and whether I can afford to send Ash on school trips?
No. Whatever I’m feeling for Jordan isn’t worth risking the stability this job has given us. I need to keep my emotional distance, no matter how much I want to get closer.
Some risks aren’t worth taking. Most people aren’t worth the potential cost.
Even when they feel like they might be worth everything.
CHAPTER 17
JORDAN
“See, the thing about Ironveil’s suit is it’s not just armor,” Ash explains around a bite of pepperoni pizza. “It’s about all the tech stuff working together. Like, his helmet has to see things and talk to his computer and not break all at the same time.”
“That’s a lot of processing power,” I agree, balancing my own slice while watching the action sequence unfold on screen. “The cooling system alone would be a major engineering challenge.”
“Exactly! Most people don’t think about that part.” Ash gestures excitedly at the TV with his pizza. “And look how his hand blasters work. The energy has to go through his palms without burning him.”
I find myself genuinely invested in this conversation about fictional technology, and more importantly, I find myself genuinely enjoying Ash’s company. He’s smart, funny, and enthusiastic about everything. Spending time with him doesn’t feel like babysitting. It feels like hanging out with a friend who happens to be nine years old.
“You know what?” Ash says during a commercial break. “You’re not bad at soccer for someone who plays baseball. That goal you made earlier was pretty good.”
“Thanks. Though I think you let me have that one.”
“Maybe a little.” Ash grins. “But you’re getting better. We should play again sometime.”
Henry is already asleep in his crib in the guest room, has been for the past hour. The house is peacefully quiet except for the movie and our conversation.
I watch Ash talk about our earlier soccer game with enthusiasm, and I’m struck by how good he is with everything. Patient, gentle, naturally understanding. It’s clear that Alexa has done an incredible job raising him. The kindness, the confidence, the way he treats everyone like they matter—those things don’t happen by accident.
“She’s the best mom ever,” Ash says suddenly, as if reading my thoughts about Alexa.
The simple statement hits me harder than it should. Ash isn’t just saying it because he’s supposed to; there’s genuine love and admiration in his voice. Alexa has raised a kid who thinks she hung the moon, and from what I’ve seen, she pretty much has.
I want to make that kind of impression on Henry. I want him to look at me someday the way Ash looks at Alexa, with complete trust and confidence that I’ll always be there for him. The thought surprises me with its intensity.
After the movie ends, Henry is still sleeping peacefully in the guest room, and Ash is fighting to keep his eyes open.
