“That’s awesome.Moon Toweris one of my favorites too.” Camden signs a poster and hands it to Ash. “What’s your name?”
“Ash. Well, Ashton, but everyone calls me Ash.”
“Nice to meet you, Ash. Want to take a picture?”
I watch through the camera lens as Ash poses with his hero, and I can see tears in Alexa’s eyes as she watches her son’s dream come true.
“Thank you,” she whispers to me while the photographer captures the moment. “You have no idea what this means to him.”
“I can see what it means to him. That’s enough.”
After the photo session, Ash is practically floating on air. He clutches his signed poster like it’s made of gold and talks nonstop about every detail of the conversation.
“Did you see how he remembered my name the whole time? And he saidMoon Towerwas his favorite too! Mom, can we frame this picture? Can we put it in my room?”
“Of course we can,” Alexa says, squeezing his shoulder. “This is definitely going in a place of honor.”
But I can’t stop checking my phone. Every few minutes, I pull it out, hoping for something. A call from Dr. Rockaway. A text update. Any sign that Amy’s condition has changed.
“Everything okay?” Alexa asks after I check my phone for what must be the tenth time in an hour.
I feel heat creep up my neck. “Yeah, sorry. Just… work stuff. You know how it is.”
She studies my face for a moment, and I can see she doesn’t buy my excuse. “On a Saturday? When you’ve taken a month off?”
“Medical emergencies don’t follow a schedule.”
It’s another not-quite-lie, but Alexa’s expression tells me she’s not convinced. Still, she doesn’t push, just nods and turns her attention back to Ash, who’s explaining the difference between DC and Marvel universes to a vendor.
The guilt sits heavy in my chest. I’m lying to someone who’s been nothing but kind to me, someone who’s helping me hold my life together while everything falls apart. But I can’t tell her the truth. I can’t explain that my sister might never wake up, that Henry might never see his mother again, that I’m terrified I’m not enough to take care of a baby who deserves so much more than what I can give him.
So, I keep checking my phone, and I keep making excuses, and I hate myself a little more each time.
“Jordan, look!” Ash holds up a comic book featuring Iron Man. “This is the one where he builds the Mark 50 armor!”
“That’s a good one,” I tell him, forcing a smile. “You have excellent taste.”
And for a moment, watching Ash’s excitement and seeing Alexa’s proud smile, I forget about everything else. For a moment, this feels like enough.
Until my phone buzzes again and the cycle starts all over.
By the time we head home, I’m exhausted from the constant anxiety, from checking my phone every few minutes, from pretending everything is fine when everything is anything but.
“Thank you for today,” Alexa says as we pull into my driveway and Ash bolts out of the car and into his house with the poster. “He had the best time. This was exactly what he needed.”
“What about you?” I ask. “Didyouhave a good time?”
“I did. It was nice to see you relaxed and having fun.” She pauses, studying my face again. “Even if you did seem distracted.”
“Sorry about that. Like I said, work…”
“Jordan.” Her voice is gentle but firm. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. But if you ever want to talk about whatever’s really going on, I’m here.”
The kindness in her voice almost breaks me, and suddenly I want to tell her everything. I want to collapse under the pressure of keeping this secret and let someone else help me carry it.
Instead, I just nod and thank her again for coming with us.
CHAPTER 14
