“Maybe just being there is help enough. Sometimes that’s all someone needs.”
As I get ready for bed later that night, I think about what Esme said. About being there being enough. About the way Jordan looked at dinner when Ash made him laugh, like he’d forgotten whatever was weighing on him for just a moment.
Maybe I can’t solve whatever’s wrong in Jordan’s life, but I can keep showing up, keep taking care of Henry, keep creating moments where Jordan can smile instead of carrying that guarded, worried expression.
Maybe that’s enough for now.
CHAPTER 13
JORDAN
Saturday morning stretches ahead of me with the kind of emptiness that feels heavier than it should. Henry sleeps on my chest, his tiny body rising and falling with each breath, while I drift in and out of consciousness on the couch. It’s been over a week since Amy’s accident, and the routine Alexa and I have established has become the framework holding my life together.
But today she’s not coming until later. Today it’s just me and Henry, and the silence in the house feels oppressive in a way that surprises me.
I scroll through my phone with one hand, careful not to disturb Henry’s sleep. Social media updates from colleagues, news articles I’ll never read, email notifications I should probably address. Nothing that really matters. Nothing that fills the restless feeling growing in my chest.
The truth is, I’m lonely. More than lonely. I’m surprised to find that I wish Alexa were here, and not just to help with Henry. I wish she were here with her easy laugh and the way she makes everything feel manageable. The way she talks to Ash like hisopinions matter. The way she looks at me sometimes, like she sees something worth looking at.
She’s smart, beautiful, and capable. The kind of woman I would have been drawn to, even before my life got turned upside down. But I can’t help wondering about Ash’s father. Where is he? Why isn’t he in the picture? Did he leave, or did something happen to him?
I want to ask, but I don’t dare. Because if I start asking questions about her life, she might start asking questions about mine. And there are things I’m not ready to explain. Things I’m not sure I’lleverbe ready to explain.
My phone buzzes with a notification, and I see an event listing for a comic con happening in downtown Boston today. For a moment, I just stare at the screen, remembering the conversation at dinner the other night about superheroes, about Ash’s excitement when he talks about comic books.
Henry stirs on my chest, making soft baby sounds as he wakes up. His dark eyes blink open and focus on my face, and he gives me a smile.
“What do you think, buddy?” I whisper. “Want to get out of the house for a while?”
The idea forms before I can talk myself out of it. Alexa isn’t supposed to come over for another few hours, but maybe she’d want to do something fun with Ash. Maybe they’d want to come to the comic convention with Henry and me.
Or… maybe I just want an excuse to see her sooner.
I call her number before I can overthink it.
“Jordan? Is everything okay?” Her voice is warm but concerned, and for a second, I think this was a bad idea. It’s too late to back out, though.
“Everything’s fine. I was just wondering if you and Ash would want to go to comic con today. There’s one happening downtown, and I thought Ash might enjoy it.”
There’s a pause, and I can hear movement in the background, probably Ash getting excited just hearing the words “comic con.”
“That sounds amazing,” Alexa says, and I can hear the smile in her voice. “Ash is practically bouncing off the walls just from hearing you say the words. What time?”
“How about in an hour? We can meet at the car.”
“Perfect.”
After we hang up, I feel lighter than I have all morning. Something to look forward to. Somewhere to go that isn’t the hospital or the grocery store. A chance to see Alexa smile when Ash gets excited about meeting people in costume.
An hour later, we’re walking through the convention center, and Ash’s enthusiasm is infectious. He’s wide-eyed at the costumes, fascinated by the vendor booths, completely in his element discussing the merits of different comic storylines with anyone who will listen.
Alexa pushes Henry’s stroller while I carry a bag of comics Ash has carefully selected, and there’s something so natural about the four of us moving through the crowds together. Like we’re a family. Like this is what Saturday adventures always look like.
“This is incredible,” Alexa says, watching Ash pose for a picture with someone dressed as Captain America. “I had no idea these things were so busy.”
“They’ve gotten bigger over the years. The production value on some of these costumes is amazing.” I adjust the comics I’m carrying as we walk past a group of people dressed as The Avengers. “Some of these fans put more effort into their costumes than the actual movie studios do.”
“Do you ever dress up for these things?”
