“Where’s Jazzy?” Alex is frowning. “And why do you look so stressed? You’re newly engaged. You should be smiling, or people are going to think something is wrong. It’s already suspicious that you both disappeared as soon as it happened. Luckily, they think you’d gone off to fuck.”
I just stare at the three of them, unable to put my words together. It’s hitting me again that I’m mostly responsible for what happened. I mean, I didn’t put the coke in her hand. She was doing that before I came along, and she was partying a lot before I made the suggestion that she help me out, but I can’t help feeling responsible. I thought she was like me, using to make the party more enjoyable, not using because that’s the only way she could stand to be there.
“Ash!” Jace snaps. “Where’s Jacinta?”
“Riku found her on the bathroom floor.”
“What the fuck? What happened?” Alex looks around like he’s searching for them. “Do we need to call an ambulance?”
“No. She’d dropped her coke, and she was trying to sniff it from the floor,” I say flatly, and Jace’s and Alex’s eyes almost fall out of their heads, but Shane looks resigned.
“What?” Jace scoffs. “Jacinta using coke? I don’t think so. She’s fairly antidrug after everything she went through with her mom. Weed is about all she’ll touch.”
“No, Ash is right. Apparently, she’s been using it to get through the public appearances. She had a bloody nose last week in New Orleans. He told me he suspected then that she’s been using it every time they go out.”
I sigh. “She and I had a fight before the show in NOLA. She had run out and asked if I had any, but I told her she didn’t need to be using it because we would be surrounded by family and friends. She told me she gets anxious when we go out in public. It’s been happening since the kidnapping. I guess I misunderstood how strongly she was feeling and how badly this was affecting her.”
Jace’s mouth has dropped open in shock, but Alex is still looking around. “So where are they now?”
“Riku took her home. She wasn’t happy with either of us when we told her it had to stop. I think he’s going to tell her family tomorrow and stage an intervention. She fired him and told me she never wanted to see me again outside of public appearances. I don’t know how to do something like that with her. I’m not that good an actor, and she was furious.” I feel my whole body shudder. I can’t believe I’ve fucked things up so badly. Not just because I’m worried about Edie and what is going to happen with her and my grandmother, but I think I’ve fallen a little in love with the feisty heiress. I want to be a part of whatever she’s got going on. I want to be one of her men, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Alex is one of them. I can see how happy he is with Jace and Shane, and I’m incredibly happy for him, but I want my own happiness. With all these realizations, of course, comes an even bigger problem. If I’m publicly with Jacinta, she can never be public with anyone else. My grandmother would never stand for me being associated with Jacinta’s unconventional relationship. Oh, sure, she’ll love that I’m with a woman, an extremely rich woman at that, but the fact that the woman has more than one boyfriend will be scandalous, and I can’t ask them to hide it for the next four years until Edie’s of age. How did I ever think this could work?
“Hey, man, it’s okay.” Shane grabs my shoulder and squeezes, not realizing that my mind is going through more dangerous mental gymnastics than just handling Jacinta’s unveiled addiction. “Between us and Riku, we’ve got this.”
“And Cole,” Alex chimes in with a cheeky wink, but Shane frowns at him, and it drops.
“As I was saying... Between the six of us, we’ll get her fixed up, and while we’re at it, we’re going to find a solution for you. A way to get your sister out from your grandmother’s guardianship. Jacinta, and the rest of us, can’t go on as we have been. Shit needs to change if we want to be there for our girl and have a real future with her.”
“You’d do that for me?” I look to each of them, searching for hesitation or indecision, but they stare back at me with nothing but confidence.
“Dude, you’re a brother-boyfriend now.” Jace smiles at Alex’s words, his grin only growing wider with my automatic disagreement.
“No, it’s not like that between us…” I break off as the three of them chuckle, and Shane shakes his head.
“It’s okay. We’re not blind. We wouldn’t have agreed to the charade if we were opposed to it. We know how intoxicating Jacinta Summers can be. Face it, you’re hooked.”
I rub a hand over my jaw and heave out another sigh. “Yeah, I am. I can’t believe how much her words hurt. It’s like I didn’t realize how much power she had over me until she used it as a weapon.”
“It was the drugs talking. She didn’t mean them. When she sobers up tomorrow, she’s going to be incredibly ashamed, so we need to give her all the love and support she needs to deal with this.” Alex puts his hand on my shoulder, and I feel a shudder run through me. Shit, that’s not good.
“Come on, let’s go. You should call Cole and tell him all about what happened tonight. I don’t think Camilla saw any of the drug stuff, but I’m sure the speculation about her being pregnant will be on all the front pages tomorrow, along with your engagement.” Shane is all business as he guides us toward the parking lot. I’d been dropped off here this morning and was hoping to catch a lift home with Jacinta, but I guess I’ll be going with the guys. “I’ll call Riku when we drop you at the hotel and see if he needs any help. Hopefully, she’ll have sobered up by then and can see things more rationally.”
He clicks the locks to his car, and it lights up. He and Alex get into the front, leaving me with Jace in the back. As the car pulls out of the parking lot, I drum my finger on the window and watch the darkened streets roll by. I jump when Jace takes my other hand in his and gives it a squeeze, but I squeeze back, thanking him for the comfort. Instead of removing it like I expected him to, he keeps his hand in mine. I should pull away, but the comfort is nice, so I leave it there, holding hands with my ex-boyfriend’s boyfriend all the way back to the hotel.
* * *
Jacinta
Ifume with anger all the way home. I’m so angry with Riku that I can’t even look at him. How dare he suggest I have a problem? He doesn’t know what it’s like to have all those people looking at you, talking about you, and you can bet none of the things they have to say are nice. Nope, they are just trying to figure out how they can use me to get ahead in life. Not to mention the reason I have him. I mean, seriously, he’s my bodyguard because I’ve already been kidnapped once! I can guarantee Peter isn’t the only one out there who looks at me and Jax and sees a big-ass payday.
I grab the bottle of whiskey and take a long drink, not bothering with a glass. It burns as it goes down, and I cough a little, but I like the warmth in my stomach. It’s the only part of me that actually feels warm, since the rest of me is frozen. Riku frowns, and I flip him off before taking another long draw. If I can’t use coke to numb the voices, then whiskey is the next best thing.
It’s more dependable than any of these traitors I’m surrounded by.
Even Ash is using me for his personal gain. The panic I could see in his eyes when he thought that I wouldn’t follow along with his scheme… Shit, I’m a lot of things, but putting a fourteen-year-old girl at risk is fucking low. I’d never do something like that, and I’m hurt he would think that. A heads-up would have been nice. That’s all I ever wanted him to understand, but no, I can’t ever have someone just listen to me for fucking once.
When the car pulls into the parking garage at the hotel, I don’t wait for Riku. I open my door and stalk toward the private elevator. I can hear him call my name, but I ignore him. He’s got a lot of fucking nerve. I just fired him, so I don’t have to listen to a fucking thing. Unfortunately, he catches up before I can get the doors to close. He can kiss my ass.
“Jacinta, don’t be so childish,” he scolds me, and I feel my anger explode.
