“Yeah, I would, though I wouldn’t care if they were biologically mine or if we decided to do what Dad did and adopt a hockey team.”
He chuckles at that. “Hockey, hey?”
“Yeah, huge hockey fan. I can’t wait to see if Kai ends up buying the Colorado Grizzlies,” I tell him, giving him a little tangent to cling to in case he’s not ready to pursue a conversation. I’m not really sure why he seemed upset, but I don’t want to push him too much, too fast.
He seems to relax, all the tension leaving his body, which seems like a safe enough indicator that I can ask him the question too. “What about you? How do you feel about kids? With our… untraditional relationship, there’s also the factor that any kids I have might not be yours—biologically, at least. Does that bother you?” It’s a lot, but if we’re taking this situation seriously, then I guess there really isn’t too soon of a time to think about this. Protection isn’t foolproof, and god forbid something happens, I don’t want that to be the first time he shares his feelings with me.
He pulls me up a little so my head is resting on his chest, and I can hear his heartbeat beneath my ear.
“With my awful start in life, you would think I wouldn't want them, but Mom wasn't really bad to me. I was her golden boy, and when she was sober, she smothered me with love and attention. Or that’s what I remember. But anyway, yeah, I want a whole bunch of them. I don’t care if they’re mine biologically or one of my brother’s or kids we can give a safe and happy home to. I just think with the kind of money we have, we can at least rescue some like Dad did for us. I mean, look at him, offering to adopt Hope. I think he would probably adopt more. He was so thrilled when he heard about you, but it easily could have been another child he rescued and brought into the house. The McCallister brothers, for example. That’s a classic Dad move, trying to help out people less fortunate than him. I might not have had a good parent model with my mom, but Dad, Nana, and Poppy are pretty damn good examples of what I’d like to be as a parent.”
He rests his chin on my head before slipping down again to nuzzle into my neck, his hand resting on my stomach. “I can’t think of anything sexier than you rounded with one of our babies in your belly.” His words are a hot whisper across my ear as he nips at my neck, and my whole body clenches with desire. Holy fuck, that’s hot. Why is that so hot?
“For what it’s worth, I think you’re going to be an amazing daddy one day. And practicing wouldn’t hurt, would it?” With that, I pounce on him. I plan on riding this man hard and putting him to bed exhausted, and with the grin on his face, he doesn't look like he’s upset at all.
The next morning, the wind rushes past my body as I hold on tight around Jaxon’s waist. Safety first, of course, and the whole part about clutching his body and pressing against him is an unspoken bonus. His bike, a sleek black number, flies over the asphalt like it has wings, and my blood rushes through my veins.
Jaxon had taken me to breakfast at a cute little café about half an hour from the house, where we had coffee and enough food to last me all day, before riding back for our meeting with Emma and the rest of the crew.
Thomas’ face is a thundercloud as we drive across the wooden bridge of the moat, the click clack sounds making me grip Jaxon harder in fright. When we get closer, any excitement I had been feeling just moments before turns to guilt. The rest of my boyfriends don't look happy either; in fact, none of the crowd does.
“”Oh, fuck. I think I’m in deep trouble. I forgot to tell people we were going out. Did you tell anyone?” I mutter to Jaxon through the microphone in the helmet.
“Shit, only Jazzy when I grabbed the helmet, but she was half asleep. Thomas is going to kill me,” he groans as he pulls the bike to a stop and switches it off, dropping the kickstand.
I climb off and pull off my helmet. “Oh god. I’m so sorry, everyone. I didn’t think. It was nice to be able to just live in the moment, but that doesn’t mean it’s worth any of the worry it caused you guys,” I apologize as I approach the group, my eyes on Thomas. His arms are crossed, mouth firmly set in a frown, and if his body weren’t so tense, I’m sure his foot would be tapping away. “It was a spur of the moment thing; nobody knew we were going to do it.” Yep, that certainly didn’t help. If anything, he’s somehow standing even more rigidly than before.
“What if someone had been watching the house, Harlow? What if they saw you leave and followed you? How could you be so irresponsible after everything we’ve done to try to keep you safe!” His words hit the target, and I can feel my shoulders hunch in as tears prick my eyes.
“Whoa, man. Hey, this is my fault. I should have told one of you. I didn’t think either.” Jaxon steps between us, holding his hand up.
“Damn right, it’s your fault. It would have been on your head if something had happened to her. How could you be so selfish?” Declan spits angrily, and I huddle against Jaxon’s back. The reappearance of this Declan has me cowering like I would with my mother when I was small. What did he say to trigger this? I think about his words.“How could you be so selfish?”My mother used to say that to me all the time, referring to just about anything I did, or said, once I started living with Chuck and Melinda. Therapy helped me see that she was the selfish one, not me, but those words still awaken something small and hurtful inside me.
“Whoa, whoa.” Jacinta steps up. “Like you guys have never done anything without thinking first. Lay off the two of them. They apologized. Let’s not ruin what’s supposed to be a momentous occasion.”
Declan turns away from us, and if he were a girl, I would say he flounced toward the front of the house. I have no idea what other word fits this melodramatic storming off that he’s seemingly perfected. How the hell does he do that?
Thomas, at least, sticks around, uncrossing his arms before he growls at the two of us. “Don't do it again. I could have easily gotten up, taken one of the spare bikes, and come with you.” He sighs, closing his eyes like he’s silently counting to ten in his head, then places a kiss on my cheek. “You look hot in those riding leathers, though.” He looks me up and down and winks before following his brother.
“Holy shit. I thought that would go a lot worse,” I say to Jaxon with relief, and he sighs.
“Don’t worry, Declan will make us pay for a day or two.” I grab his hand and squeeze it.
“Not if he wants to be on cub duty.” A snort of laughter behind me has me whirling around. Kai’s standing there with a smile on his face.
“Let me take that.” He grabs the helmet from my hands. “You sure know how to manipulate our biggest brother already.” He walks back to the bike with Jaxon, and they put the helmets on the ground next to it as Holden and Oliver approach me. They must see my face fall at Kai’s words. I don't like being accused of manipulations; that’s not what I had intended.
“Don’t worry, babe. It’s not really manipulation, more a workaround. You’ve got to use what you can. Dec holds grudges, and he’s likely to sulk for a day or two, so use what you can to get him to come around. Lord knows we all would if we had the chance.” Holden kisses me on the cheek and squeezes my arm reassuringly.
“Just make sure not to do it again. Dec is protective of all of us, and he sees what you did as a failure on his behalf. He failed to predict something like that would happen, but he thinks he should have,” Oliver explains, grabbing my hand and towing me after the rest of the group. I can see that Dad, Nana, and Poppy were worried, but none of them are going to scold me like a child, which is how Thomas and Declan made me feel. At least Thomas came around without a dramatic production.
Jacinta drags Jaxon over and shoves him into my side before walking around me and linking her arm with mine. “Come on, let’s do this together.” There’s a smile on her face that screams she’s doing her best to give a stiff upper lip, and that reminds me that this isn’t about me. This is just as much about the two of them. Maybe using me as a distraction is a way for them to get through this, but if it makes it easier for them, I’ll let them do it every time.
“Are you sure it’s okay that I’m here?” Hope steps up on the other side of Jacinta, and the former waves her off with a hum and links her arm too. “You heard everyone last night. You’re being adopted, and even if you don't want that, you're still one of the family.” The four of us must look like the characters from theWizard of Ozas we mount the steps and enter through the big double doors. I mean, thisisa little like Dorothy going to see the wizard and stepping behind the curtain, isn't it? We finally get to see everything behind the legend.
Emma greets us warmly as we step into a foyer that looks like it’s out of a gothic novel. Dad gives her a kiss as he looks around. “No Molly?” he asks, and Emma shakes her head, looking a little guilty.
“No, I asked Molly to stay home today because I have things I need to tell you. You may decide you don't want anyone outside of your family knowing the information.”
