“I didn’t say that, I just said you’ll never see it—unless you make his inner circle, that is.”
“But you have?” she pushes, unable to let it go.
“Well, yeah, of course. He trusts me.” I push off the bed and grab the glasses she brought with her. “Let’s pour a couple of drinks, and then if you want, we can light one of those joints.” Her face lights up, and my distraction does the job. I needed her to stop prying about my brother. It’s giving me an uneasy sensation. It’s almost like she wants to be friends with me because of him. It’s a pity she wasn’t there when he dealt with Nikki, it may have changed her mind.
Once we have our drinks, we head out to the two recliners on my balcony. We can hear the music from downstairs, and the pool is now full of people, the party having made its way outside. Stacey eyes the action wistfully like she wants to join them, and if I told her to go, I know she wouldn’t hesitate to leave me, but I don’t, and she takes a seat next to me instead.
I put the joint between my lips and flick the Zippo lighter, puffing a couple of times before taking a drag of the pungent smoke. I hold it in then blow it out as Stacey looks on, wide-eyed again. Her naivety is really showing tonight, and sometimes I wonder if it’s all fake.
“You’ve done that before,” she accuses, and I shrug again.
“Yeah, occasionally Gio and I will sit down together.” I take another drag and then pass it to her. She looks a little apprehensive, but that soon gets replaced by determination, and she takes a big drag before a cough explodes out of her lungs. “Take a smaller drag until you get used to it,” I suggest once she stops spluttering and coughing.
She rolls her eyes, unhappy with my instruction, but does as I suggest.
The mellow feeling works its way into my limbs as she takes another drag, this time more cautiously. We pass it back and forth until it gets to the end, and I stamp it out in the ashtray, feeling more relaxed than I’ve felt in a while. We watch as people splash in the pool. One or two girls are now topless as games of chicken take place. Stacey giggles uncontrollably as she observes the action below.
I watch my brother as he sits poolside, surrounded by sycophants. I can’t see his eyes, but I know they won’t be showing the same joy his smile seems to portray. Party Gio is a persona he cultivates, and in private, he’s a very different person. Some of Gio’s friends pull off their shirts and jump into the pool, and Stacey leans forward in anticipation for him to join them, but he doesn’t. Amusement over her disappointment floods my body, but that quickly turns to guilt. I shouldn’t be laughing at her misfortune. I should be helping her find a way to get what she wants, which I probably would if she didn’t want my brother.
Stacey watches, her face wreathed with disappointment, as he stands up, pulls the girl who was sitting next to him to her feet, and heads into the pool house, tugging the curtains closed over the glass doors.
“He wasn’t wrong, you know?” Her quiet voice has me jumping slightly. I really had been mellowed out and not expecting her to talk. It’s not often that I can get quiet around Stacey. I shake myself out of my fog and sit up, determined to pay attention.
“About what?” I ask, a little confused about what she’s speaking about.
“Not knowing how to give head.” Well, shit, that was not what I was expecting her to say. “I’ve barely even kissed a boy, but this year, that’s going to change.” There’s a hint of determination in her tone, and my heart sinks. I know she’s going to try and drag me into whatever scheme she’s planning. “We’re seniors now, and it’s time to start dating.”
I wave a hand at her and lean back again. “Please, all the idiots in our year are the same lame-ass morons they have always been.”
“Don’t be like that, Tori. Some of them aren’t so bad. But to attract their interest, we have to know stuff. We can’t be inexperienced. They want girls who know what they are doing.”
I can’t believe the words that are coming out of her mouth. What kind of medieval bullshit is this? I knew her dad was a misogynistic asshole, but wow. Does she really think that giving a blowjob is a requirement to have a boyfriend? That’s really fucking sad. I want someone who is interested in me as a person first rather than me as a cum receptacle.
“And I want to be part of the popular crew. I want to be friends with Nikki and the twins.”
Oops, I think I’ve already fucked that up,but I don’t tell her that. “We don’t need them, we’ve got each other,” I assure her, but her expression tells me she’s not convinced.
She reaches out and grabs my arm. “I know, and we will be best friends forever, but I want more. Please help me with this.”
Sighing, the mellow still affecting me, I reluctantly agree. “Okay, what do you need from me?”
“I need experience.” What is she talking about? Turning my head, I stare at her in confusion, and then the anger starts to rise.
“So, what, you want me to ask my brother to teach you shit? You want me to pimp him out to you?” There’s no way it would ever happen, but I can’t believe she has the audacity to ask.
Excitement blooms on her face, and her eyes light up. “Do you think he would?”
I get up and storm back into my room, annoyed as fuck—or annoyed as one can be after smoking a joint. Flopping down on the bed, I watch as she follows me inside. “Fuck no,” I snap. Her smile drops, and I instantly feel guilty. Jesus, it’s like I have a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. I can’t commit to a mood one way or the other. “Look, ask me for anything but that, okay? I don’t want to see you sad when he says no, and he will say no.”
She gives me a shaky smile and climbs onto the bed next to me. “Well, that wasn’t what I was going to ask anyway. Look, you and I both need experience, so what if we give it to each other?”
Say what? I don’t even get a chance to ask her what the fuck she’s talking about before she leans in and places her lips on mine. I’ve kissed one or two boys in the past, but they were always wet, sloppy things that left me unwilling to repeat the experience, but Stacey’s lips are soft and plump and feel good. She leans back, looking to see if I’m going to stop her, but all the alcohol and smoke are kind of convincing me that this is a good idea. My instincts aren’t screaming no either, so that’s good enough for me.
She moves closer and swipes her tongue across the seam of my lips, and I open my mouth to let her in. She tastes faintly skunky from the joint, but the sweet taste of juice from her drink quickly covers that as her tongue sweeps into my mouth. Without touching beyond our lips, we lean into the kiss. Her tongue tangles with mine, and a weird feeling starts to tingle in my core. Stacey’s kiss is making me feel something that has never happened with another person. A shiver courses down my spine, and my nipples pucker with excitement. Holy fuck, I’m turned on. My mind races with the implications. What does this mean? Am I gay? Is that why I’ve never really been interested in boys? But then again, I’ve never really been interested in girls either.
Before I can come to any conclusion, Stacey pulls away and wipes her mouth, a smile curving her lips. “Was that okay? Do you think guys would like it?”
Dazed by the lust-fueled fog, it takes me a moment to answer, and she must take that to mean I don’t think they’ll like it, because her smile drops and she grabs my hand. “Will you help me this summer? We only have a week left, and by the end, I want to be a pro at kissing. I won’t be a victim of gossip saying that I don’t know what I’m doing.” Her eyes sparkle with chaotic determination bordering on obsession.
