Chapter One
Harlow
I’d had all of forty-eight hours to wallow in my shame and misery before Chuck called me to say the horses would be delivered the following day. I’d been lying on the couch at Shane and Alex’s place, stuffing my face with junk food and generally feeling sorry for myself, when the call came through.
“Is everything okay, Harlow? You're sounding a little down.” Chuck’s words were a kick in the ass, and my heartbeat sped up as I ran a frustrated hand through my hair. “Has something happened?”
If he hadn’t heard about the incident, I certainly didn’t want to be the one to tell him. He and Brad had been friends for years, and I didn’t want him thinking badly of him for something that was out of his control.
“Yeah, I'm okay. Life out here is certainly different than being at home, but I’m really enjoying getting to know Brad. Nana and Poppy are awesome as usual.”
“And Brad's kids?” he prompted, sounding more suspicious now. I guess he’d caught that I hadn't said anything about them. Chuck always did have a way of reading between my lines. I didn’t want to lie, but I didn't want him fighting my battles for me, and I knew if he or Melinda found out how bad it was, they would either be convincing me to come home or booking the next flight out, guns blazing.
Blowing out a deep breath, I answered, “Look, it’s fine. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I’ll be okay.”
“You don't sound so sure.” His voice held a note of worry, and I bit my lip with guilt. On one hand, I wanted to tell him everything and beg to come home, but on the other hand, I refused to let them chase me away. “Do I need to speak to Brad?”
“NO!” I snapped before switching to pleading. “No, please don’t. It’s not his fault, and hedidoffer to step in, but if I can't hold my own against them, they'll never respect me.”
“Do you want me to have the horses moved? I can easily find somewhere else to board them until the director is ready for them.”
“NO!” I snapped again, instantly regretting it as a wave of guilt flooded my body. “Sorry, no. Really, it couldn't have come at a better time. I’m feeling incredibly homesick, and having them here is going to go a long way toward making me feel better.”
“Well, okay then. As long as you’re sure. I sent a surprise along as well, so I'm sure that will help.” There was still a hint of worry, but it had softened. We chatted a little more about the training needs, and he assured me he’d sent my safety gear before we hung up.
A moment after I set down my phone, an arm around my shoulder had me startling. I’d forgotten Alex had been asleep on the other end of the couch. Shane had had to go to work, leaving the two of us to veg out for the day. It was a long ago scheduled shoot for Neighpalm Energy Drink, Kai's branch of the company, and though he had offered to cancel, I told him not to bother. Kai had been the least horrible out of all the siblings, and I still had hopes of possibly winning one or two of them over to the idea of me being a part of their lives, even if only in the friend capacity.
As for the others, Alex and I had spent the last two days plotting the revenge they definitely deserved. Fuck taking the high road. Mind you, my friends margarita and mojito may have had a lot to do with that. If I was being honest, Ben and Jerry may have also played a part or two in planning out nefarious deeds. That was, until we both passed out from too many drinks and copious amounts of junk food.
“Are you sure you want to do this? You don’t ever have to go back to that place again. You don't owe any of them anything,” Alex said gently, pulling me against his side where I rested my head on his shoulder with a sigh.
“No, I don’twantto, but I’m going to. I promised Chuck, and they’ve done so much for me. I don’t want to let him down,” I told him.
“Do you want me to come with you for support?” I sat up and shook my head, my eyes wide. Just the offer had my skin prickling with emotional goosebumps. With Max so far away, it was nice to know that someone else had got my back. Max would always be my sister, but Alex filled a void I’d never known I had, like a platonic soulmate. Despite the experiences we shared together, it was always in the back of my mind that Max might only be friends with me because of proximity. That she wouldn’t have been had our parents not brought us together.
“No, I need to do this on my own. I also need to go and talk to Dad, Nana, and Poppy. They've been blowing up my phone since it happened, and apart from sending a group message to tell them where I am, I haven't spoken to any of them.” Again, the guilt swamps me, but I just wasn't ready to face anyone or even have a phone conversation. But I felt stronger after wallowing in my misery for a few days.
He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Why not?”
“I didn't want to say anything I might regret. Once I got over the humiliation, all I felt was anger, and I didn't want to take it out on the wrong person,” I explained to him, standing up. Looking around the living room, I realized we’d done quite a bit of damage during my pity party. Empty cups and take-out containers were everywhere. Empty chip packs, even what looked like bright orange cheeto dust, crushed into the carpet.
“God, look at this place! I'm so sorry,” I blurted out, but he waved his hand.
“Please, it’s the last thing you need to worry about.”
Completely ignoring him, I started to pick up containers, taking them over to the garbage can in the kitchen before going back for empty cups and glasses. I loaded the stack into the dishwasher, cringing at the smell of long-dried tequila.Definitely better when it’s fresh and covering up your feelings.
“Fine. I’m going to let it go for now, but you’re right. You need to speak to the people who love you. They must be worried sick, even if they understand where you’re coming from.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not going to apologize for my anger. As much as they tried to fix things, that picture is out there now. Everyone knows the internet lives forever, not to mention the tabloids will print whatever they want regardless of Brad giving them the real story. No, that wasn't juicy enough for them, so they ignored it and went with the original speculation. All that crap is out there, and quite frankly, I could lose out on job offers because of it.” I was practically shouting at him now, doing exactly what I had wanted to avoid in the first place.
“Whoa, babe.” He put his hands up and walked over, pulling me in close and holding my shaking, angry body tight. “I know, I know, I wasn't attacking you. I just know how I’d feel if you disappeared and wouldn't speak to me.”
My shaking slowly got under control, his reassurance helping, and he placed a kiss on my head before stepping away. “Come on, let's finish cleaning up, and then you need to have a shower. We’re going to go out and get some food. Some fresh air will do you good. I’ll call Shane and tell him where to meet us.”
And he was right. The fresh air and food did do me good, and I felt better when nobody gave me a second look. Maybe it wasn't as big a deal as I thought it was, and the people that mattered, like the zoos I’d applied to, hadn’t seen it.
The clattering of horse hooves as the truck pulls to a stop brings me back to the present. As the truck driver jumps out and greets the Summers’ stable manager, Josh, I thank fuck that no one else seems to be around at the moment. I’d expected to be bombarded by Dad and the grandparents the minute Alex dropped me off at the stables, but apart from Josh, the place is deserted.
