My mom pats me on the knee affectionately. “He’ll come around, honey.”
“Hmm,” I mumble, not entirely convinced.
“What about Bella?” my dad asks. “How has she been since you told her everything?”
“She’s been… great, actually. She’s pissed at Killian for not hearing me out, but I understand it. I don’t want people to make him the villain here. He’s hurting bad right now. And it’s all my fault. If anyone is the villain, it’s me. I should have told him.”
My dad pinches his lips together in pity. “Daisy, no one blames you for what you did. You were going through one of the hardest times of your life. I understand that Killian is hurt. But as your parents, we watched you suffer for almost a year after the wedding. There were times I told your mom I was coming to get you because I was terrified of leaving you alone in that town. I was afraid that one day we’d get the call that you had done something terrible. And yes, we saw what you leaving did to Killian, and as painful as it was to witness, it was nothing compared to watching my baby girl slowly deteriorate.”
My throat is thick with emotion. My eyes burn with unshed tears as I soak in his words.
I never considered how it affected them. I had no idea they feared for my wellbeing. I was so… lost in my own sadness that everything and everyone else fell to the wayside.
My parents helped me get set up with an apartment in Montana. They helped me get in contact with the best fertility specialist in the country and would call me after every appointment to ask me how it went.
I thought I hid my emotions well. I plastered a smile on my face for every conversation and masked the pain in my voice as I rehashed information. I was a robot from the moment I answered the call to the moment I hung up, when the walls would come crashing down and I’d be swallowed back into the depths of hell.
I was angry. God, I was so fucking angry. At the world. At my body. At the doctors giving me bad news after bad news.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to cry.
I wanted Killian.
The different feelings I was experiencing scared me to death. I was afraid of being alone, but I knew I couldn’t be around anyone else. My thoughts were dark and depraved. I had the overwhelming desire to just not be here anymore. I couldn’t see a way out. There was no light at the end of the tunnel.
Eventually, I sought help. When I couldn’t take the intrusive thoughts any longer, I found a therapist. And she showed me that a lot of the feelings I was experiencing were all side effects of my hormones after such a traumatic change to my body.
She put me on medication to regulate my emotions, and to this day I still take them. I still have to fight everyday not to spiral back into that dark place. But since I returned home, I’ve found myself fighting harder than ever.
“I’m sorry, you guys.” I wipe a stray tear from my face and take each of their hands in mine. “I love you both.”
My mom smiles, wiping her own tear away. “We love you, too, honey.”
“So much,” my dad says, patting my hand affectionately with his weathered one.
The doorbell rings, breaking the moment between the three of us and all of our head’s swivel to the door.
My dad stands with a grunt. “I’ll get that. You two get started on your movie.”
My mom watches him leave, her eyes following his every move as I pick up the remote and hit play on the TV. The opening notes ofBe My Babyby the Ronettes begin to play and I settle in on the sofa, pulling the blanket up to my neck. My mom quickly follows, making herself comfortable and the moment she’s relaxed, I lay my head in her lap like a small child, ready to distract myself from the shitshow that is my life with some Patrick Swayze.
KILLIAN
Idon’t know what I’m doing here.
I don’t even know what I plan to say when that door opens. The whole drive overhere, I rehearsed what I wanted to say, the questions I wanted to ask, but the second I pressed the doorbell, my mind drew a blank.
I should just go.
I don’t know what I was thinking coming over here and expecting answers from Daisy’s parents. They don’t owe me anything. They were just protecting their daughter. They were beingparents.It hadn’t dawned on me until this very moment.
Everything they did; the secrets they kept, were all to protect their child. I just didn’t see that because I’ve never experienced that kind of love from my own parents. I’ve never known unconditional love and protection from the two people that should have it in abundance.
I shake my head and turn on my heel; my sights set on my truck. I shouldn’t have come here.
My heads all over the place.
