Not recently, you haven’t.
I shrug with a sigh. “Peoplechange.”
That is the truth.
I wouldn’t say Ilikeclutter, but my bedroom was always decorated with pictures and memorabilia of our childhood and teen years. I could lay in bed at night, staring at the snapshots and be able to relive the exact memory all over again in my mind.
I used to see it as a blessing but now it feels more like a curse.
I made it through one week in my childhood bedroom surrounded by those memories, reliving every second of them as my heart cracked in my chest before I tore them all down.
Now, I like to keep my space tidy. A blank canvas. Somewhere I can feel peace, instead of pain.
I left it all behind when I left. It was the easiest way for me to move forward with my life away from Rosewater Creek and it’s a habit that seems to have stuck.
Bella eyes me wearily and I wait for her to question me, but she must see something on my face because she blinks, plastering a smile on her face. “I can’t believe we’re finally roommates.”
I exhale a relieved breath and return her smile, thankful for the subject change. “I know. I still can’t believe I’m home.”
“It’s been lonely without you, Dais,” she says, her voice full of sadness.
And there it is, that guilt again.
I hurt a lot of people when I left. Including myself. But how do I explain my reasonings without having to dive back into one of the darkest times of my life?
Explaining myself to Bella would open a can of worms I’m not prepared to deal with yet.
And as much as she deserves to know why I disappeared on her, there’s someone else that deserves to know more.
As much as I want to, I can’t tell her everything yet.
So, I apologise instead. “I’m sorry, Bells.”
“Will you tell me one day?”
With a watery smile, I dip my chin. “One day.”
Bella nods, accepting my answer. “Okay.”
Forcing my emotions down, I change the subject. “So, when is Liv home?”
“She’s closing the café today, so she’ll be back around six.”
“And she’s still okay with me moving in, right?” I ask, chewing on my lip nervously.
When I decided to move home permanently, I went to the café to ask Bella if I could stay with her. I didn’t want to go back to my parents’ house. Back to the bedroom that held all the memories of Killian and the years we spent cooped up in there, wrapped around each other like two teenagers in love for the first time.
But it was more than that. When I visited seven months ago, I could see the physical toll the years had taken on my mom and dad. I’ve put them through enough over the years that it wouldn’t be fair of me to force my way back in. I know that they’d have me back in a heartbeat. And that’s the problem.
I’m a twenty-four-year-old woman who has spent the last two and a half years building a career and a name for myself. I’ve lived alone for just as long and to move back to my childhood home, where my mom can fawn all over me and my dad can watch my every move like a hawk, wouldjust feel like stepping back into the past that I’ve fought so hard to get away from.
What I didn’t know when I asked to stay with Bella, was that she had moved out of her apartment and into Liv’s house.
I’d only met Olivia on one other occasion but when she offered up the third room for me to stay in, I jumped at the chance.
Now that I’m actually standing in the house, I’m a little nervous that she might not have meant it.
I mean, it’s too late either way. My belongings are already in her guest room, but I don’t want to invade her home if she had simply thrown the invite out there on a whim.
