He wraps his arm around my thigh, bringing his hand between them and draws quick circles over my clit. “Come for me, Dais.”
That’s all it takes. My back arches off the bed and I clamp a hand over my mouth as I scream out my release. Stars explode behind my eyes, my entire body shakes, and Killian keeps on going, sucking my clit into his mouth until he’s wrung every last drop from me and I’m completely spent.
I slam my book closed, tossing it onto my nightstand before pushing myself up and giving him a mischievous smile. “My turn.”
***
I wake with a gasp. My heart pounds against my ribcage as I suck in air and slowly pull myself into a sitting position.
Sweat beads along my forehead, chest heaving and the space between my thighs aching at the memory of the eighteen-year-old, carefree versions of us.
I don’t know what triggered that specific memory to make an appearance in my dreams. It could be because I spent the evening organising the books on my shelves, I’m not sure, but I know for sure I won’t be getting back to sleep anytime soon.
Kicking the comforter off my legs, I stand and reach for my robe, wrapping it tightly around me. I grab my phone from the nightstand and the book from my dream off my bookshelf before padding quietly down the hall to the kitchen.
The clock hanging on the kitchen wall reveals that it’s a little after four a.m., so I opt for coffee instead of camomile tea. I have to be at the ranch at six so it’s useless trying to get back to sleep now when my alarms due to go off in an hour.
I’ll be dragging ass by lunch time for sure, but I can’t find it in me to care.
While the kettle boils, I let my mind wander back to Killian. Over the years, I often wondered if he was haunted by moments of us like I so often am. Or did he just erase me from his memory as though I never even existed.
I can’t say I’d blame him if he did.
The look on his face when he found me in The Boot all those months ago is one I won’t forget anytime soon. He looked at me like he’d seen a ghost.
In a way he did.
Because although I look like the same girl he once loved, I’m no longer her. Something changed within me in the days that followed what was supposed to be our wedding day.
Everything I imagined for myself – for us and our future – was torn away from me. And I haven’t been the same since.
That’s another reason why I stayed away. Why, even though I’m back now, I still haven’t come clean. Because I don’t think I could handle him looking at me like I’m broken.
I can deal with him hating me. It’s easier to be the villain in his story than the shattered girl that everyone pities.
My nose begins to tingle as bottled-up emotions threaten to spill, and I shake my head, reaching for the kettle.
Once I’ve filled my mug with coffee, I head for the living room. I pick up a throw blanket from the basket in the corner and switch on the small table lamp before settling on the couch with my book.
This particular book used to be my favourite, and this is the first time I’ve read it since before I left, so it doesn’t take long before I’m completely lost in a world of fictional men and fake dating.
CHAPTER 11
KILLIAN
My alarm blares in my ear, tearing me from an already fitful sleep and I mutter a string of curses as I reach out and switch it off.
My conversation with Hunter has been playing on a loop in my head for a week and I still haven’t decided what I want to do with the information.
I thought about maybe trying the friendship route with Daisy, but I’m not sure either one of us are ready for that yet.
Hell, she still can’t even look at me, so I’m not holding out hope of her wanting to be my friend.
Somewhere between midnight and the birds tweeting, I came to the conclusion that until I have formulated a solid plan, I’m just going to make myself more… present.
I’ve tended to avoid the ranch, and even Noah more than usual since she started working there. I know Noah well enough to know that he’s likely to give me a rundown of her day to day just to fuckwith me and the whole point of my staying away is so that Idon’thave to know every detail of her life, ergo… avoid Noah at all costs.
And as much as that has worked wonders for me, I’m not going to get any answers by staying away.
