After our brief discussion on the couch the night we put our wedding rings back on about adopting the siblings, Killian and I have spoken more in depth about it. We’ve acknowledged that it’s going to be a long process. That there may be obstacles we have to face when taking on two children with such significant trauma, but the two of us agreed that it’s something we’re prepared to face together.
We started the adoption process two days later, but of course, there is a long road ahead of us before we can officially adopt Jax and Juliet.
Killian’s dream as a seventeen-year-old boy was to have a family that he could provide for in the way he lacked as a child. To break the toxic cycle he could have easily fallen into by following the footsteps of his parents. His dream was to raise his children how him and his sister should have been raised.
And for many years, I thought that was something I couldn’t give him. I was so caught up in that insecurity andthe grief of losing that opportunity, that I didn’t even consider adopting as an option.
The moment he admitted to me that he wanted both of them, it hit me like a lightening strike to the heart. That although I was incapable of giving him children of his own, there were other ways we could become parents and have a family.
It was foolish of me to think that Killian would give up on the idea of us just because I couldn’t have kids. I let my own selfish shit consume me and destroy the relationship and future we were building together. It was because of that, that so many years were wasted, but as I sit here now, on the porch of the main house at The Calloway Ranch, I realise that every wrong decision made in the last four years, is what led us here, to this moment.
If we hadn’t gone through everything we went through, Killian might not have met Jax. He may not have been on the street that day a young boy decided to look to a complete stranger for help. We might not have been there for him and Juliet on the night their mother selfishly took her own life.
Savannah once told me that sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives, put us on the path to the best thing that will ever happen to us.
Now I understand it.
The sound of tyres crunching over gravel pulls me out of my thoughts as Killian rushes down the steps towards Amelia and Roman’s car.
Roman has barely even put the car in park before my over-protective husband is pulling the back door open and helping Jax and Juliet climb out.
Their eyes are wide with awe as they take in their surroundings and I remain at the top of the porch steps, allowing them a moment to adjust to their new, but temporary home.
A smile tugs at my lips as I watch Jaxon’s mouth drop open slightly when a ranch hand approaches on horseback and addresses Roman. He watches the interaction in utter disbelief the entire time, while Juliet hides behind Killian’s leg from the large animal in front of her.
The way she so easily chose Killian as her place of safety warms my chest and his eyes flick over to me, the shock and emotion of that realisation shining brightly in his grey-blue pools.
I descend the steps slowly, not breaking eye contact with my husband as he places a hand atop Juliets head to offer her some comfort. She looks up at him, her lips moving with words I can’t hear and Killian crouches down to her height as he responds to her with a gentle smile. He points a finger in my direction and for the first time since they arrived, both children’s eyes land on me.
Juliets fear of the thousand-pound animal quickly vanishes as her face stretches into a wide smile and she takes off running toward me.
“Miss Daisy,” she squeals, and a surprised laugh bursts from my chest as she barrels into me, her arms wrapping around my legs in a crushing hug.
“Hey, little one,” I say, bending at the waist to return her hug.
“I missed you,” Juliet says against me and the three little words spoken in her soft voice cause a knot of emotion to wedge itself in my throat.
Because of Killian’s connection to Jax, we’ve been allowed to visit them twice a week in a professional setting. In the six visits we’ve had over the past three weeks, I’ve built a bond with the little girl currently wrapped around me. At just three-years-old, she’s resilient as hell. And I’ve quickly come to learn that she has one of the biggest hearts despite the trauma she has lived through in her short life.
“I missed you, too,” I whisper back.
A familiar pair of sneakers appear in my field of vision and I straighten, finding Jax standing before us, his hands tucked into his pockets as he watches the interaction between the two of us.
His eyes, much like they have been since that night, are rimmed with dark circles and hollow, making his face appear pale. His shoulders droop under the weight of things he’s yet to speak about.
He just looks so fuckingsad.
I’ve come to know a lot more about Jax in our visitations. He dropped out of high school over a year ago to take care of Juliet, giving up his education and future college opportunities to take on the role of a parent. He’s fiercely protective of his sister and would go to any length to make sure she is safe, loved and looked after, even if it means sacrificing himself and his happiness in the process.
But underneath all of that, he’s just a boy. A sweet, loving boy that has faced more hardships in his sixteen years than most do in the entirety of their lives.
He has no idea what it feels like to be loved. To be wanted. And when he pulled me to one side in one of our visit and begged me to take his sister home with us, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I would spend every day showing him that he is wanted, and he is loved. That they both are.
Killian steps up beside me, regaining Juliets attention and when she finally peels herself off my legs, opting to be held in Killian’s arms instead, I step toward the broken boy. He stiffens as I wrap my arms around him, pulling him against my chest.
His arms remain lax at his side for a few seconds before I feel every muscle in his body release on a whoosh of breath and he returns my embrace.
My chin trembles as Jaxon’s body begins to shake in my arms, loud, heart-wrenching sobs tearing from his chest as I hold him tighter.
