I know she’s apologising for being here the one time I show up, and although she doesn’t need to apologise for that, I can’t help the words that fall out of my mouth. “What are you sorry for?”
Daisy sighs, her shoulders dropping in defeat. “Everything.”
I shake my head. “Dais, I didn’t come here to-”
“I know,” she cuts me off, taking a step toward me. “Could you just give me five minutes to explain? Please?”
The desperation in her words and the pleading look in her eyes is what has me planting my ass back in the chair I just stood from and nodding my head.
Her parents are still notably absent, and the hushed voices I heard only moments ago in the hall have now fallen silent.
Daisy takes the seat opposite me at the table, clutching the thin blanket around her shoulders. She folds her feet beneath her and takes a deep breath, her attention firmly on the table.
“I know you’re hurt that I didn’t tell you about the baby. And no amount of apologising will make up for that, so I’m not going to. But you didn’t let me finish the other day.”
She pauses, and I keep my eyes trained ahead, waiting for her to continue. I can’t look at her right now, because I know if I look at her, my resolve will crumble, and I don’t know what’s going to come out of her mouth next.
“I had an ectopic pregnancy,” she says in a rush. “I don’t know if you know what that is, but to summarise, the baby was growing in my fallopian tube rather than my womb, meaning the pregnancy was doomed from the beginning. On the morning of our wedding, I went to the bathroom to place the test in the gift box that I planned to give you. But when I went to the toilet after, there was blood.”
Daisy swallows, her voice cracking on the last word. “There was so much blood, Killian. And I kept praying that it would stop, but it wouldn’t. Then the pain started. Mymom told me her and Bella were going to check on a few things, and I couldn’t answer her because I was in so much pain, and all I wanted in that moment was you. But I also didn’t want you to see me that way. I didn’t want you to find out like that. So, I changed my clothes and asked the makeup artist to drive me to the hospital. She must’ve seen the level of pain I was in because she didn’t hesitate to help me, and she insisted on calling for help, but I begged her not to.”
I close my eyes, picturing the entire thing behind my eyelids, putting myself in her shoes in that moment.
Daisy swipes at her face. “The pain was so intense that I passed out before we had even left the parking lot. All I know after that is what I was told when I woke up from surgery.”
That has my head snapping her way.
Surgery?
This is the first time I’m hearing about any surgery.
“The doctor told me that my fallopian tube had ruptured, and I had been bleeding internally.” A dry, humourless laugh leaves her as she stares into nothing. “She told me I waslucky.That if I had arrived minutes later, I wouldn’t be here right now.”
Jesus fucking Christ, it’s so much worse than I thought.
My eyes sting. A rock settles low in my stomach, and my hands shake at the realisation of what I’ve done these past few days.
“Daisy,” I croak.
She shakes her head. “I need to get this out, Killian.”
I dip my head for her to continue. “Even after hearing that, I was going to tell you. The makeup artist had my phone because all my belongings were handed to herwhen they wheeled me into the OR, but I planned to call you the second I got it back and tell you everything.”
“So, what changed?”
She clears her throat, wiping at her face once more. “After the doctor left my room, I was a mess. I was angry that our baby was gone, and I was angry that she had told me I was lucky. I didn’t feel lucky. And I lost it. I was beside myself with grief and pain and it wouldn’t stop. They had to sedate me to keep me from further injuring myself. Somewhere between then and when I called my mom, I contracted an infection. I don’t know how, but I was in immense pain from the surgery, and the infection was making me so sick. Add that on top of my out-of-control emotions and I was just completely inconsolable. They decided to sedate me again. I was unconscious for three days in total and when I woke up, I was just… numb.”
“I got discharged after a week and a half with nothing but a pamphlet for a support group and the number for a fertility specialist based in Montana.”
Montana.
Fucking hell.
My head drops back in disbelief as everything begins to connect.
I scrub my hands over my face before bringing my eyes back to her. For the first time since she sat down, she looks at me. “That’s why you were in Montana?”
With a shaky chin, she nods. “The infection attacked my reproductive organs. The doctor told me that my chances of having children were slim, and the fertility specialist confirmed that after carrying out his own set of tests.”
