“Interesting,” Shawn says. “And what about your family on the other side? Melanie isn’t your mom, is she?”
“No,” I chuckle bitterly. “I barely remember my mom. Jackson says she ran off. Other people told me she died. It really doesn’t matter which story is true. I’m just alone.”
Careful. Don’t outright expose Father and his abuse.
“Not anymore,” he replies, and even though his voice is low, there is a fierce note to it.
I look up at Shawn, feeling a heavy weight within me of words I can’t say.
I’m in a fucking minefield here, and I want to believe Shawn when he says I’m not alone. But I’m more isolated and in danger than I’ve ever been.
“Do you think I’ll get a chance to talk to the elders without any interference?” he asks. “I really want to talk to Leah.”
“That will be difficult,” I say. “The old ways are ingrained in her, and this is all like sacrilege. She withdrew from the moment they decided to attack Eccles, and she went into deep mourning when she found out Talon was dead. She must hate you.”
“I understand,” Shawn says. “But we didn’t mean to kill him.”
“But you still did!” I shoot back, my voice getting high. “Everyone’s so fucking sorry, and you keep telling me you didn’t mean to. But he’s dead, and you’re here, and everything’s fucked!”
“I’m sorry,” Shawn says. “I really am. But to us, they were just random wolves who attacked out of the darkness. That’s why I really want to get to the bottom of this, so I can understand exactly what happened.”
Tears burn my eyes, and I shake my head as they begin to spill down my cheeks. “I don’t know what happened,” I whisper, grief making my chest tight. “I don’t know why Talon would suddenly attack Eccles after generations of our pack never even thinking of going to that part of the mountains! It doesn’t make sense!”
“You’re right, it doesn’t,” Shawn says. “And I don’t think I’m going to get the truth out of your father.”
“You won’t get it out of the elders, either,” I mutter, wiping my cheeks. “They don’t know what Father and Talon talked about.”
“No, maybe not, but they did know Talon. Leah demanded he become alpha, yes?”
“Yes,” I answer miserably. “She would have fought Jackson’s father over it. The pack was almost split in two.”
“Now that is very interesting,” he says, drumming his fingers on the table. “How did they mend the rift?”
“The threat beyond our borders has always been stronger than any internal conflict,” I say, finally getting my tears under control and finishing my drink in one long gulp. “No matter how bad things are here, we unite in fear against what lies beyond Clover.”
“And I assume Jackson and his father were more than happy to help the new, young alpha in his role,” Shawn says softly. “All in the name of guiding him and helping him with the burden of rulership.”
“Yes,” I answer. “How do you know that?”
“Just a feeling,” he mutters, frowning. For the first time, I realize his expression isn’t just stern. It’s calculating.
What the hell is he planning? Could he be worse than Father?
“Let’s put all that aside for now,” he says, getting up to come and sit beside me. He gently takes my hand and looks into my eyes. “Listen to me, please, Sara,” he says. “I am committed to you as your husband. I have a lot of work to do here, and we were thrown into this marriage unprepared. I understand you didn’t want this, and probably didn’t get much say in it. I wantyou to know, I am genuinely interested in getting to know you. I want this to be a real partnership.”
I stare into his face, mesmerized. Up close, his green eyes are flickers of deep forest green, dappled with paler shades as if sunlight is streaking through a dark canopy in a gentle breeze. His mouth is dark red, and his lips look soft and lush.
“Sara?” he whispers, squeezing my hand a little. He leans forward, and I can almost feel the heat rising in his body—and the way it is answered in mine.
“I can’t!” I snap, shooting to my feet. The moment his grip is broken, so is the spell, and I flee from the room, racing down the hall to the bedroom and slamming the door behind me.
I lean against it, gulping helplessly as more sobs rise in my chest. Wrapping my arms around myself, I shake my head back and forth, so full of pain and confusion, I don’t know how I can ever let it all out.
My life has gone from the worst to even worse, now into a pure nightmare. I have to get out of here!
I look at the window, imagining the horizon beyond it. The human world I’ve read about so often seems so shiny and beautiful, full of amazing wonders and luxurious comforts. Even poor people have food to eat and nice places to sleep—and the idea of going to movie theaters or live shows thrills me.
The dangers between Clover and Caliente are less frightening every day. I’m beginning to feel like I don’t even care if I get killed in one of those traps. Anything is better than being here.
