“Besides, your wedding couldn’t possibly go as badly as mine!” she says, making the others laugh.
“What happened?” I ask.
“She got to the altar to see her old high school crush, who disappeared the night after they finally got it on!” Gen says. “Even I didn’t recognize him, but she sure did.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” I answer. “Why would he leave, and then come back looking so different?”
An awkward silence falls, and the girls all give each other a strange look.
“I’ll tell you the full story, I promise,” Scarlett says. “I just think it might be a bit too much to handle on your big day.”
“Okay,” I mutter, curious, but not overwhelmingly so.
She’s right. I’ve got bigger problems today than figuring out why Scarlett’s husband likes to dress up in disguise and act erratically.
As the girls gather around me to take me to the hall, it strikes me suddenly that Shawn might be exactly the same.
If he disappeared on me, would I be happy, or would it just mean I’m subjected to Father’s punishment?
The thought terrifies me so much that by the time I walk to the podium to stand with Shawn, I’m completely shut down. Seeing Father standing nearby with all three of his men only hammers home how vulnerable I am, and that my entire life could fall to ruin on his whim.
Even though it’s even more impossible than before, my dream of running away is the only thing that keeps me sane. My eyes are unfocused, staring at nothing as Leah speaks the ritual words, and images of faraway cities dance through my mind.
I only have such old stories to go on…things I read in Talon’s books. His grandfather and mine often went out to the human world to bring back supplies, tools, seeds, and books…so many books.
Of our old elders who have now died, only three were trusted to go to towns and bring back necessities. Once we were set up enough that we could make by hand anything we needed, the visits stopped.
We’re only safe within the boundaries. That has been taught for as long as we can remember. Never reveal our location, never let strangers come here…secrecy and isolation are the only things that keep us safe.
So why the fuck did Talon and the warriors attack Eccles?
I feel Shawn’s fingers tighten on mine, and I realize we are almost done with the ceremony. I focus my eyes on his face, and he’s looking at me expectantly. A sliver of ice spears through me as I realize he’s probably waiting for the “you may kiss the bride” part.
Leah omits the last line, ending the ceremony without a kiss, and the sharp fear inside me melts. I shoot her an appreciative grin, and she smiles back. Shawn and a couple of the others look disappointed—including Father—but I don’t give a damn.
We go out to the park where most of the pack have come out for a small feast. I’m actually dismayed to see how much food is on offer.
Every family must have given up all they had for this feast. People will go hungry over the coming weeks.
Even though I’d like to go play with the children, I’m forced to stay at the table and act diplomatically, creating a welcoming atmosphere for our guests. Father and Melanie plant themselves on either side of my new husband, and the daggers Father shoots at me when he thinks no one else is looking remind me constantly how precarious my position is.
He could throw me to his dogs at any moment, potentially even dissolve the marriage if he saw fit. Most of the pack follow him, and I don’t think anyone would try to stop him.
I try to get through the afternoon with grace, and I’m almost relieved when Shawn finally takes my hand to lead me back to the house.
I know what’s coming next, and I can’t do this…I just can’t!
My breath is caught in my chest, and even though I know my hands are ice cold, sweat is trickling down my sides.
Consummation. We have to, immediately, under the watch of the bride’s guardian—
Panic floods through me, like electric fire running through my bones, making my skin twitch. I think vividly about pulling my hand out of Shawn’s and bolting into the forest. But if I do that, I’ll get thrown to Father’s men.
Great! My choices are sexual assault and gang rape. What a great wedding day.
When we reach the creaky wooden steps, I realize Father is right behind us, and I’m not surprised in the slightest. When Shawn lets go of me, I hurry up the stairs to stand in the doorway, praying desperately that if this has to happen, at least maybe it won’t have to happen with Father watching.
When Shawn tells Father he won’t do it and forces him to retreat, the relief that floods through me is so powerful, it makes my chest hurt. I have to grab the edge of the doorframe to stay upright; the feeling is so strong.
