Claire pulls on Levi’s sweater to get his attention, and I smile as he immediately cuts the turkey into smaller pieces for her. He also puts all the sides on her plate, exactly where she insists they be, without a second thought.
She really does have him wrapped around her little finger.
As we all begin to eat, Levi rests his arm on the back of Claire’s chair and sets his hand on my shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. I glance over to see him smiling at me, and I send him agrin of my own. We all eat in a comfortable silence, Blue and JJ making small talk now and then.
This holiday season feels different, more bleak, than I had expected it to be. Without Neve and my father here at the table, everything is quieter. Claire hasn’t seemed to notice, nor has she said anything about them in a couple of months. I know that’s a good thing, that she’s coping and has come to terms with what happened, but truth be told, I miss being able to have those conversations with my little girl.
Instead, I often find myself having them with Blue, and I am lucky that she listens every time I need her. Truthfully, I’m grateful that my friends decided to spend the holiday here with Claire and I, despite having ample invites to their own families dinners. Their presence makes the loss a little more bearable.
“I have an idea,” Claire announces once her plate is completely clean. “My teacher made us go around the room and say one thing we were thankful for. Can we do that?”
I smile and nod, giving her leg a squeeze. “Of course, honey. Do you want to start?”
“I want you to.”
“Okay.” I release a gentle sigh as I mull over my answer. “I’m thankful for all of my friends, our health, and for my boss.”
Sending a wink over Claire’s head in Levi’s direction, he blushes slightly before he looks down at his plate. Claire leans forward to look at Blue, gesturing to her with her small hand.
“My turn?” Blue asks, pointing to herself. Claire nods. “I’m thankful for my adorable little goddaughter and her mother, and for all the amazing people in my life. Oh, and reality trash television.”
Everyone laughs except RJ, who stares at her with a crinkle in his brow. Her expression falls slightly as the laughter dies down, and he clears his throat.
“I’m thankful for my career and the opportunities it’s provided me.”
Blue stiffens beside me, and I slip a hand under the table to give her hand a squeeze. The other three at the table don’t seem to notice the palpable tension. Claire immediately sets her sights on JJ as she awaits her answer.
“I’m grateful for my friends and family, and for the exposure my work has gotten in these last few months.”
“Everyone keeps saying the same thing,” Claire points out, folding her arms over her chest.
I chuckle, running a hand over her hair. “It’s okay, honey. Being thankful for your friends and family is a common thing.”
She shrugs, turning her back to me to look up at Levi. He glances over her head at me, an unreadable expression on his face. I raise an eyebrow in silent question, but he shakes his head and glances down at my daughter.
“I’m thankful that the universe decided to give me everything I could’ve ever dreamed of having.”
“That’s vague,” Claire states, and I have to bite my lip to stop from laughing.
Levi bumps his arm into her shoulder, jostling her slightly so she looks up again. “The universe made sure your mother and I crossed paths, which brought you into my life. That’s what I’m thankful for.”
A shy smile creeps onto Claire’s face as she looks down at her lap, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. I feel my eyes grow misty as I look at him to see a loving look in his gaze. He reaches over Claire’s seat again to rest a hand on my shoulder, giving me a lopsided smile.
“My turn.” Claire claps her hands together, but her cheeks flush as she refuses to make eye contact with anybody. “I’m thankful for my Auntie Blue and all the fun stuff she lets me do.” Blue grins and winks at her, even though she doesn’t see it.“I’m thankful for my Uncle RJ for helping me learn how to play softball.” He simply nods. “I’m thankful for my Auntie JJ for buying me all the best clothes and for always making me laugh.” JJ holds a hand to her chest, her eyes growing glossy.
Claire releases a sigh as she turns in her chair to face me. “I’m thankful for everything you’ve ever done for me. I’m very lucky that you’re my mom.”
The tears slip past my eyes before I can stop them. However, Claire turns to Levi before I can give her a hug. I watch as she moves to kneel on her chair, making herself taller so she can look him in the eye.
“I’m thankful that my mom met you, and that you make her smile. I’m thankful that you come to all of my games and take me and Winston on walks. I’m thankful that you let me paint your nails and that you always hang my photos on the refrigerator.” She takes a deep breath, and I cannot stop the cascade of tears that are rolling uncontrollably down my cheeks. I hear Blue sniffle beside me and see JJ crying as well. “But I’m most thankful that I know I can always count on you. Thank you for being like a dad.”
She throws herself into him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He immediately engulfs her in a hug, and as he looks at me over her shoulder, I see unshed tears in his eyes. I wipe at my cheeks, a wet, happy laugh escaping me as I watch them. Blue squeezes my shoulder from behind me, giving me a sense of comfort.
“I love you,” Claire tells Levi as she pulls far enough away to look him in the eye. A lone tear falls down his cheek and she reaches out to brush it away.
“I love you, too, kid.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
