“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I whisper yell, my eyes darting around to make sure no one was paying us any attention. “Are you serious?”
“Of course I am.” He looks down at me in confusion. “I should have proposed to you a long time ago, Mar. I want this.”
I breathe out a surprised laugh, shaking my head as I avoid eye contact and attempt to get my heart beating back at a normal rhythm. I suddenly grab his hand, pulling him through the crowd and back to our empty table. As I drag him behind me, I catch sight of Kirstin staring at us.
“This is absurd,” I tell him once I push him down into his chair. “Do you really think that slapping a ring on it makes everything just magically go back to normal?”
“No, that’s not it at all. I wanted to show you I’m in it for the long haul, that I’m not going anywhere. That I am going to finish the program and come home to you.”
My hands grip the back of my chair as I stare down at the cushion, biting the corner of my lip as I try to calm myself down. “Doing those things proves to me you can do it. Not proposing to me on a whim, or out of fear.”
“It’s neither of those things.” Travis leans forward so he’s closer to me. “I’ve had this ring for three years, Mar. Three. It just never felt like the right time.”
I sigh, pulling out the chair I was gripping, and sit down. My knees press against his as I grab for his hands, holding them between my own. “Does now really feel like the right time?”
“It feels better than any other over the last few years,” he admits, hanging his head. He pulls one of his hands out of mine and runs it through his hair before looking back at me. “I’m just so terrified I’m going to lose you. I cannot lose you, Mar.”
“Asking me to marry you doesn’t guarantee that you won’t.” I keep my voice soft, attempting to lessen the blow of my words. “Trav, all I ask is that you finish the program this time, no matterhow hard it may be. Claire and I deserve to have you home with a logical mind. If you can do that, if you can stay strong and do what needs to be done for our family, then I will consider your proposal, okay?”
Travis nods, a pained look on his face, but he smiles at me nonetheless. I lean forward and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. His arms loop around my waist, holding me tight.
“I hope you know how much I love you,” he whispers into my ear, hugging me a little tighter. “I know I keep saying it, but I promise I’ll do whatever I can for you and Claire.”
I pull back and cup his cheek with one hand, a sad smile no doubt on my face. “I know you will.”
“Hope I’m not interrupting.” Kirstin’s voice startles the both of us, causing me to pull away as I look over my shoulder. “I know it’s getting late, so I just wanted to let you know you can go home whenever you like. I can wrap things up here.”
“Thank you, Kirstin.” I rest my hand on top of hers that rests on the back of my chair. “I’ll see you Monday?”
Kirstin smiles and nods, giving my hand a small squeeze before she walks back towards the dance floor. I focus my attention back on Travis for a moment, noticing the conflicted expression covering his features. Instead of saying a word, I grab my purse off the table and stand, extending a hand towards him.
We exit the hall hand in hand, heading out to the valet. Once Travis gets my coat and helps me put it on, he retrieves the key to the car and opens the passenger door for me. He waits until I’m secured inside before he closes the door and walks around to climb in behind the wheel.
The drive to Tallgrass Treatment Center is quiet, not even the hum of the radio providing solace. I glance over at him, staring at the side of his face, wondering what he’s thinking about. I can only imagine that his thoughts are like my own.
Travis stood outside the door,tears streaming down his face. I gripped the door tightly, wishing more than anything I had it in me to close it in his face.
“Please, Marlowe,” he begged, falling to his knees in front of me. “I can’t get well there. I can’t get well without my girls. I need to be here, please.”
Those words broke something within me and I dropped to the ground, cupping his face in my hands as I brushed away his tears. “Come inside.”
I leanedwith my head against the closed door as I listened to Travis plead on the other side. The past due credit card statements were mocking me on the kitchen island, a stark reminder of where Travis’s actions had put me.
Tearing open the door, I rolled my eyes as they landed on Travis. He was sitting on the floor, his back against the wall, so he was facing my door. I rested a hand on my hip as he looked up at me, the familiar red rim around his eyes drawing a frustrated sigh from me.
“You couldn’t even make it back here without getting high?”
“I have nowhere else to go,” he informed me, pushing himself up to his feet as he nervously wrung his hands together. “No one will take my calls, and the shelters are full.”
I closed my eyes, resting my head against the door frame. Looking back at him, I opened the door wider to allow him in. “This is the last time, Travis. I can’t keep doing this.”
“I can’t accept this,”I told Blue, trying to give the check back to her. “This is too much.”
“It’s funny that you think you even have that option.” She cast a glance at the pile of past due bills piling up on the island before looking at me again. “Use it to get caught up. You needto focus on your daughter, not worrying about bills. I’m doing this for the both of you.”
Tears slid down my cheeks as I closed the space between us, throwing my arms around my best friend. “Thank you.”
Travis’s fistpounded loudly on the front door, rattling the hinges before he tried the handle. I stood a few feet away, unwilling to approach and look out the peephole. The last thing I wanted was to see him that way, and I refused to let him manipulate me anymore.
