“Begging your pardon, Caroline,” a voice said. Caroline recognized it as belonging to Bethany. “His Grace sent me up with a tea tray for you. Would you like me to leave it in the hall?”
Caroline relented and went to the door to let Bethany come inside. It had been kind of Levi to make the effort. He must’ve noticed that she was feeling a bit unhappy when she had left him.
Bethany came in and placed the tray on the table by the window. “Is everything all right?” She moved to stand beside Caroline. “I noticed that your sister and your cousin are picnicking on the lawn and wondered why you had decided not to join them.”
Caroline gave a sigh. “Bethany, I fear that my light will always be dim in my sister’s presence,” she said. “I would never want Prudence to be any less than she is. I love her, I admire her, and I am so very proud of her. But being around her reminds me of the way I felt growing up.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was always the least of my sisters. I was always the one who is admired the least and had the least expected of me. My mother and father never thought that I would marry. I’m sure they still think I only managed to do so because Prudence ran away. I try to believe that the duke would have chosen me willingly. But the truth is, he never had a choice, and we all know that.”
“His Grace adores you, Caroline,” Bethany said. “Anyone can see that.”
“I want to believe that’s true. But just look at my sister out there. She makes people love her without even trying. And I could never do that.”
Bethany poured the tea and pressed a cup of it into Caroline’s hands. “Drink this,” she said firmly. “You’ll feel better.”
Caroline sipped the tea, and to her surprise, she did feel slightly better. Bethany was right. Things between her and her husband were as good as they had ever been. She couldn’t complain about that. And she had to hope that they would only get better as time went on.
As for Prudence, it was a joy and a blessing to be able to spend time with her sister. That was the part that Caroline would try to focus on. And if having her family around reminded her of what it had been like to grow up in that family, that was simply a price Caroline was willing to pay.
CHAPTER 27
“Caroline! What a pleasure to see you out of the house. I feel as if it’s been so long since you attended a society event. I wondered whether I would see you today.”
Caroline looked up. Modesty had come to a stop before her and folded her arms across her chest. A glass of wine perched loosely in her hand. As usual, Modesty was overdressed. Today’s gathering was a simple garden party. Most of the ladies were wearing gowns that were slightly better than their everyday ones, but were nothing particularly remarkable.
Not Modesty. The gown she wore was the sort of thing Caroline might have worn to the fanciest ball of the season. “That’s a beautiful dress, Modesty,” she said. “But aren’t you a bit warm? I would have thought something a bit simpler would be more appropriate for an event such as this.”
“You think that because your experience in society is so limited,” Modesty said, nose in the air. “You may be a Duchess, but you are still from humble beginnings, and everything about you shows it. Perhaps, once you have a bit more experience in your new role, you will be better able to anticipate the needs of all social situations.”
It was a funny thing. Caroline knew perfectly well that Modesty was only trying to make her feel insecure. She had only to look around to see that the way she was dressed was in keeping with the attire of the rest of the partygoers. And yet, even knowing that, Modesty’s words did have an impact.
Maybe it was the fact that she had spent so much time around her family lately. Having them back in her everyday life had continued to be a mix of pleasure and pain. Prudence wasn’t at this party. Their mother was still insisting on keeping her and Bridget at home. But if she had been here, would Modesty have made those comments to her?
Caroline didn’t think so, somehow. She thought it was more likely that Modesty would have been too intimidated to speak to Prudence that way.
If only she knew how to dissuade people from speaking that way to her!
“I suppose you had to come here this afternoon,” Modesty said. “I know you’re still concerned about the rumors surrounding yourself and your husband. I suppose you felt that making an appearance was your best opportunity to put them to rest. Wasthat it? Are you here because you want to show everyone how happy and in love you are?”
“I’m here because I was invited here, and to have a good time at the party,” Caroline said, doing her best to keep her voice even. It was a challenge. Modesty always unnerved her. She knew that the other lady was purposely attempting to get under her skin, but it worked. She didn’t want to feel as if she was less valuable than Modesty, but in moments like these, it was hard to suppress that feeling.
“Well I don’t know why it would be any particular secret,” Modesty said. “Everyone knows the rumors that are circulating about the two of you. You may as well acknowledge it. People say your love is a lie. People say he married you only to save himself from disgrace when your sister ran away.”
“What people say doesn’t particularly concern me,” Caroline replied. “I am not like the gossips of society, living and dying with each new rumor and new opinion. Perhaps that’s difficult for you to understand, Modesty. I suspect that a rumor about you would upset you greatly. As for me, I hardly think about it.”
“How brave.” Modesty sipped her wine. “Perhaps you ought to come to the ball my parents will be having in two weeks. I considered whether I wanted to invite you.”
“It’s entirely up to you,” Caroline told her. She wasn’t about to beg for an invitation to an event like that.
Modesty looked rather annoyed, as though she had hoped Caroline would push to be invited. “Well, I’ll have to think about it,” she said. “You know I like you, Caroline, but your reputation… Well, let’s just say I need to be discerning when it comes to my invitations. I can’t just ask anyone to balls at my home.”
“Yes, I quite understand,” Caroline agreed. “It does take courage to disregard what society expects of you. It’s a struggle to find that courage. I have faith in you, Modesty. I’m sure you’ll find it someday.”
She picked up a glass of wine from the table beside her and walked away without giving Modesty a chance to answer. A smile played at the edges of her lips. The interaction had certainly restored some of her confidence. She wished that Levi had been there to see it.
She found him out in the garden with a sandwich in his hand. “There you are,” he said, smiling. “I wondered when I might see you.”
