“Yes, Arabella said the same thing to me. She’s the only person in the world I think I could have trusted to give me a real answer that I could believe, because I know she would never make light of the situation or try to sweep it under the rug. She loves Prudence as much as I do. If she thinks everything is all right, then it probably is.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear you feel that way,” Levi said. “And I think you’re right. But even so, I’ll do everything I can to help make sure your sister is found as soon as possible. Even if she is doing well, it’s not good for anyone to have her out on her own like that. We’ll all feel better, I think, once she is back at home.”
“I know I will,” Caroline said fervently. “Do you think my parents believed the two of us were happy in our marriage? We can’t forget the other reason for tonight’s dinner.”
“You’d be better able to answer that than I would,” Levi said. “You know them better. How did they seem as if they received our little performance?”
“To tell you the truth, I forgot to pay attention.” She covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry, Levi. I know I ought to have beenwatching them. It’s just that so much was going on, and I let myself get distracted.”
“No, don’t worry about it,” he said. “We did the best we could, I think, regardless. I don’t know what else I could have done to demonstrate my devotion short of kissing you right in front of them.”
It had been a joke, and he had anticipated they would share a laugh, but Caroline looked up sharply when he spoke the words as if he had said something deeply shocking.
And Levi found he wasn’t laughing either. Somehow, now that the words had been spoken and hung in the air between them, they didn’t seem as funny as he had anticipated they would.
Of course, I wouldn’t have kissed her in front of her family.
Her family isn’t here now.
He cleared his throat and rose to his feet, about to say something about how perhaps he ought to get up to his office and put in some work before the whole day had passed him by. Caroline rose to her feet as well, and suddenly the two of them were face to face and only a few feet apart.
He cleared his throat again. She was between him and the door, and she didn’t seem to have realized it—or rather, if she had, she had made no move to clear the path.
Not that there’s anything stopping me from going around her.
Her family isn’t here now.
Was he really thinking about that joke he had made? About kissing her? He hadn’t meant that seriously. She couldn’t be thinking about it in the same way he was, either…could she?
Unwittingly, he dropped his gaze to her lips—full, pink, slightly parted. Her breathing was a little erratic, as though she was having trouble with it. As though her heart rate was accelerated.
What am I doing?
He gritted his teeth and tore himself out of the moment. This was not who the two of them were. This was not what their marriage was meant to be about. “I’m going to head back up to my study,” he said. “I’ll be there for a few hours, if…”
He trailed off, not knowing what to say. If what? If she wanted to collect on that kiss? If she wanted to discuss this strange and powerful new dynamic between the two of them? None of that could be allowed to happen.
Levi hurried past her and fled the room before things could get any more out of control than they already had. Control—it was one thing on which he had always prided himself.
He couldn’t allow it to slip from his grasp.
CHAPTER 17
“You look lovely,” Levi commented.
Caroline felt heat creep into her cheeks. She ran her hands over the skirt of her brand-new lavender gown, which she was wearing for the first time tonight. “I feel…conspicuous.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“It’s unusual,” she said. “My sisters were always the ones people paid attention to. Arabella has such a commanding presence. She draws everyone’s focus when she enters a room just by virtue of being who she is. And Prudence is so sweet and charming. Even though my sisters and I were once badly dressed, even though we were poor and couldn’t keep up with the fashions of the ton, everyone always looked at Prudence. She could always find a gentleman to dance with, right from the very start. People always gave her their attention.”
“But not you?”
“I was the wallflower. And I was content with it. To tell you the truth, I never thought I would marry at all, so I simply didn’t worry over who was paying attention to me,” she said. She thought back to those days, surprised to find that she was filled with a sense of fondness. She had been a bit of a laughingstock, it was true, but her life had been sensible and orderly. She had known who she was and how she fit in with the rest of society.
I wouldn’t go back. Not now that I know something of what it is to belong to someone—with someone.
That was true as well, and it was every bit as surprising to her. She genuinely liked the fact that she was married. She liked being Levi’s wife. The way his gaze lingered on her as she descended the stairs—that made her feel more conspicuous than a gown ever could. But it was in a good way. She felt like one of the ladies she had so often admired. She felt like someone people would look at, as she had looked at others, and wonder what it was like to be her.
