A heartbeat later, she heard the unmistakable sound of a lock clicking into place.
Caroline wanted to die right then and there. He hadlocked her out. It wasn’t that she wanted access to that room—she’d have jumped out her own window before opening that door again. But the fact that he’d locked it meant that he didn’t feel confident about that. It meant that he felt the need to keep her from barging in like that again—because he believed there was a chance she might do it.
He thinks I’m a wanton woman.
She burned with anger and humiliation. She had done nothing wrong—this was her husband, for goodness’ sake! It wasn’t as if she went around throwing herself at men all the time. Supposing that you were going to have a wedding night with your husband was nothing to be embarrassed about.Hewas the one who ought to feel embarrassed, with all his talk of wifely duties! He should have realized how unclear that was; what a confusing message he was sending.
Now she wished she’d asked for that room with a big window! She was stuck in a room that adjoined the duke’s; of course,, he would assume she had chosen this room forthatreason. Which, to be fair, she had. But she would not have done so if he had been honest and forthcoming about his intentions in their marriage.
Caroline took a deep breath and did her best to calm herself.
It wasn’t a good idea to get all upset like this. In fact, she really ought to be happy. She hadn’t been looking forward to the festivities that went along with a wedding night. She had been anxious about what would happen. She had dreaded it and had simply wanted to get it over with. Now that worry was gone. It wasn’t going to happen.
Yes. That was a good thing. That was a relief.
And as for the humiliation—well, that would fade, given time. Humiliation didn’t last forever. Eventually, she would look back on this night and laugh, even though it didn’t feel like that right now. Someday, when this moment was far behind her, it would be easier.
She got to her feet and marched over to her trunks, resolved to put the matter from her mind.I’ve done nothing wrong, she reminded herself firmly.What happened was an honest mistake. Anyone would have made it!
She hadn’t been a fool. Levi was the one to blame. Levi was the one who had been so drastically unclear about his expectations…well, now she knew. There would be no more mistakes like that because she understood what he did—and didn’t—want from her. She would give himmorethan enough space; he could be sure of that.
Wasthisthe reason Prudence had run away?
Had she felt scorned by the man who was meant to be her husband? Had it hurt her that he wasn’t interested in aconventional marriage to her? Maybe she did want a marriage like that—one with the possibility of love and children one day.
I don’t know my sister as well as I believed I did. Maybe I don’t know her at all.
Caroline sighed and went to her window. Therehadto be a bedroom in this manor with a better window than this one. It was tiny, and her view was largely obstructed by an oak tree in front of it. If the tree hadn’t been there, she would have been able to see down to the river behind the house, but as it was, she was forced to rely on imagination.
So, this is my life now, she thought bitterly, staring out into the night.A man who hardly acknowledges me, a room with a lock on the door, preventing me from doing some scandalous thing I would never have done anyway, and?—
And nothing. That was the worst part. There was nothing to look forward to. There was no future in this place. There was only day after day of trying to figure out what her irascible husband wanted from her and knowing, now, that she was destined to get it wrong.
Eventually, when the moon was high overhead, she became too exhausted to worry about it all any longer. She abandoned the window and made her way over to the bed, where she crawled beneath the covers, closed her eyes, and waited for sleep to find her.
But it didn’t—not for a very long time. Instead, she lay awake, wondering if Levi was doing the same.
There was only that wooden door separating them. Yes, he’d locked it, and she wouldn’t have gone through it now even if he had left it open. But even so, it was only a wooden door. She had heard him moving on the other side, walking around, finding his way to bed…
She’d never slept so close to a man. To a stranger. She had never picturedthispart of marriage. Simply being so close to another person like this, knowing that they were so near to one another in the night—there was something fundamentally intimate about that, even if he had locked the door.
Caroline sighed and pulled the pillow over her head, trying her best not to think about it. Because he had been clear now, even if he hadn’t been in the beginning: that wasn’t something he wanted, and it wasn’t something that was going to happen.
And she was just going to have to be at peace with that.
CHAPTER 6
It took a long time for Caroline to fall asleep. But when at last she did, she awoke feeling full of purpose.
This was her life—very well. That didn’t mean she couldn’t make the best of things. She’d always been skilled at that, and now would be no different. She would find a way to turn this situation into something beneficial. She would make this a life she could enjoy.
She sprang from her bed, dressed quickly in a simple gown, and hurried down to breakfast, wondering whether she would find Levi there. Last night, she had thought she’d never be able to face him again. Today, she felt eager to do so. Let him see for himself that he hadn’t shaken her confidence. Let him see she was up to the challenge of living as his wife and duchess. And if he needed someone who was able to perform the duties of a wife, as he had so eloquently put it—well, he would see that from her as well!
She didn’t meet him at the breakfast table, so she didn’t linger there. She stayed long enough for some tea and a bit of toast, and then she was ready to move on.
In the foyer, Mrs. Mays stopped her. “Your Grace, some of the members of your staff would like to meet you,” she said, indicating a few men and women who had lined up to do just that. “In particular, I want to introduce Mr. Brown, the butler. He’s been with His Grace for many years and served his father before him.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Brown,” Caroline said.
