Her heart squeezed at that. Standing in the warm glow of the kitchen lamp, Alethea felt a sudden courage gather in her chest. She opened her mouth, and the words she had kept locked away finally tumbled out.
"Oliver… I?—"
He did not interrupt her.
She swallowed and took a deep breath. "I love you," she said, the soft words breaking free at last. Her palms went clammy on his wrist as she felt the honesty in them. "I have loved you for some time… I thought if I kept busy, if I pretended not to care, it would pass. But it has only grown stronger."
He did not look away.
"And now," she continued, "I am afraid you have ruined me for any other affection."
Oliver's brow lifted. He still held her hand against his cheek, and he looked at her as if he had just realized something of his own.
"I…" he began, then took another breath and admitted, "I love you too, Alethea."
The simplicity of his words set her heart soaring. Relief and joy washed over her so strongly that she had to release his hand to steady herself. Overwhelmed, she let out a laugh that was half sob.
"Oh… oh, I don't know what to say. All I've wanted was to say that."
"Say whatever comes to you," he murmured.
She sat back on her heels, gazing into his eyes.
"I've been so frightened to say these things," she admitted. "But… but since you say it too… perhaps we can be honest about all of it."
"You can always be honest with me," Oliver uncrossed his arm and reached out, trailing his thumb lightly along her hand.
He watched her with such fondness that her heart nearly broke.
"I do not know how to be the sort of wife you deserve," she admitted, "But I promise I will try."
"You are already more than I could ever deserve," his brow furrowed.
She shook her head quickly.
"No, no, I am stubborn and frightened and not at all accomplished in the ways I ought to be. But if you will be patient, I believe we might…we might be happy."
His thumb stroked the side of her hand, as if to reassure her he was real.
"We can take it slow," she said, her words tumbling over one another. "I know I am not the easiest person to be around, but we can work things out. I will make sure I am not a burden to you. I will try every day to be better."
"Alethea…"
"And I can wait to have children," she went on breathlessly, scarcely hearing him. "Truly, I can. There is no need to rush. I am content to raise Clara and Eleanor with you first, before…before we have our own family."
She looked at him shyly, almost afraid to see the depth of feeling reflected back. His expression shifted as he listened. At first his brow furrowed slightly in surprise, but then his smile faded completely.
"No."
CHAPTER 21
"No? What do you mean, no?"
Alethea jerked her gaze back up. She felt the ground disappear under her feet.
Oliver's gaze held hers. "I mean precisely what I say."
"You won't… ever?" The word felt too heavy to say aloud.
