Nicholas nodded slowly. “I wouldn’t know about that. I was older when my own father passed.”
“What was he like?” Violet had not expected to have this conversation with him, but now that they had begun, it was hard not to probe.
“He was a complicated man. Very strict, demanding,” Nicholas admitted in a quiet voice. “You had to meet his expectations, no matter how impossible they seemed.”
“I’m sure you must have.”
Nicholas let out a dry chuckle, the sound devoid of humor. “I suppose I did, eventually. But it wasn’t all bad. When he chose to focus on me, I saw glimpses of the man beneath. He just… didn’t let that part of himself out often.”
“And what did it feel like to finally meet his expectations?” Violet asked.
“By the time I’d become the man he wanted, he was already gone,” Nicholas lamented.
Violet blinked, her chest tightening at the quiet resignation in his voice. “I’m sorry, Nicholas.”
He shrugged. “There’s little to be sorry for. It shaped me into who I am now for better or worse.”
“That doesn’t mean it wasn’t painful,” she said firmly.
Nicholas’ gaze shifted to her, and for a moment, his dark eyes searched hers. “Pain has its uses.”
Violet’s chest tightened. She wasn’t sure what she had expected him to say, but the starkness of his words left her momentarily speechless. “That doesn’t make it right.”
His openness this morning was refreshing—though she was uncertain about what had spurred it on. It made her want to ask him more.
But Nicholas seemed to have other ideas.
“I didn’t mean to spoil the mood,” he said abruptly, his tone shifting to something lighter. “We’ve already delved into far too serious a topic for a morning conversation.”
“And what is so wrong about that?” she asked, tilting her head as she studied him. “Why must every conversation be lighthearted and inconsequential?”
Why must everything—their marriage included—benotserious?
He took a moment to answer her. “Because mornings are meant for simplicity, Violet. If I gave you a different impression, then I must apologize for that. It was not my intention.”
“Perhaps that’s the problem, Nicholas. You prefer simplicity, but life is rarely so cooperative,” she replied.
He paused for a second, the weight of her words settling in between them. It was at that moment that she realized something important about the Duke.
His life had not been easy. Glimpses that he shared about his childhood with her revealed that much. Beneath that biting wit was a man who had learned to take everything lightly—not because he didn’t care but because it was the only way he had found to protect himself. His aura of nonchalance wasn’t a reflection of indifference but of survival.
Her heart ached at the thought though she doubted he would ever admit it aloud.
“Life is never so simple,” he gave her a smile, but it did not reach his eyes. “That’s why you have to create simplicity where you can.”
“Simplicity is not the solution to everything, Nicholas. Some things in life must be felt, experienced deeply, or they lose their meaning,” she argued stubbornly.
Of all the things he had admitted to her, this felt like one she opposed the most.
He shrugged his shoulders, as though he cared for none of it.
“Is that what your Prince Charming would be like, then? A man who feels and experiences things very deeply?” he asked pointedly.
The question caught her off guard, and she hesitated. “I… I wouldn’t know.”
“Well, then I must confess to being an unfit candidate,” he admitted finally. “I am quite incapable of such things.”
Violet blinked at him, unsure how to respond. She had never intended to make him draw comparisons like this and least of all in ways that made him seem ill-equipped.
