Their gazes met, but it did not elicit any kind of feeling from inside of her. If anything, it felt no different than staring at Isadora or Violet. Familiar, yes. But there was no passion there.
She swallowed, roughly. "Lord Richard..."
"I believe it would be a sensible arrangement. We get along well, don't we?" he rambled on, shifting his gaze to look at the floor instead.
Something was very wrong about this whole exchange. Richard wasn't excited about this, and neither was she.
"But do you... truly want to marry me?" Daphne asked, her brow furrowing. "Do you truly want me to be your wife?"
Richard looked up at the question, his lips pressing together into a tight line. "We have been in a courtship for some time now, and I suppose this is just the natural evolution to it."
She felt herself growing frustrating.Suppose.He had said that word more than once now. When she had imagined herselfgetting proposed to, she had always imagined a proposal that was made in certain terms.I wish to marry you because I love you. Because there is no one else but you.
But his words felt the exact opposite. It seemed that he was trying to convince himself just as much.
"Lord Richard," she straightened her back, mustering up all the courage she had available, "I wish for you to think about this for a moment. Do you really feel for me as one would feel for a wife?"
She knew that her sisters would have chided her for even daring to ask such a question. It was not like a Lady to question a proposal like this, but habits die hard. Daphne never had been one to stick to the socially accepted script.
Even if it was meant that she was about to ruin her prospectsforever.
Richard looked a bit surprised at first at the question, but then paused to give it a thought.
"I feel you for you... as a friend," he admitted with a sigh, "which might be enough to sustain a marriage, and raise together offspring. It would make for a harmonious match, which is more than most people can say,I suppose."
There it was again. That word.
"So you believe it to be a practical match?" she said, thinking about Ambrose again.
"Yes, you could say that. Practical," he nodded furiously, "that is the right word. I do care for you, I suppose, in some way. And you have proven yourself to be a kind hearted person."
Daphne shook her head gently, her thoughts becoming clearer as he spoke. "But you are not in love with me."
Richard took a long moment to respond. "I suppose not. Does that matter to you?"
To an outsider, it should have been devastating to hear that the man proposing to her does not love her. But all Daphne felt was relief.
"Isupposeit does," she replied, "Lord Richard, you see, years ago I made a promise to myself that I would not settle for a marriage until I find myself a prince charming – a marriage that is based on love alone. But neither of us feel that way for one another."
She worried for a second that he would get angry, but instead, he nodded. So she continued, "Why must we marry then, if not for love? I care for you as a friend, but I cannot delude myself into believing something that is not there."
Richard straightened up, slightly awkward. After all, she had just rejected his proposal.
"Is that you wish for?"
"I do," her voice was strained but she felt that a load had been lifted off her chest after finally admitting the truth. "And it is something that you should wish for yourself, as well. Lord Richard, I have known you to be a gentleman and I believe that you deserve love, too. Not a marriage of convenience with me. I can promise to be your friend but... I do not believe that a marriage between us would be fair."
"I see," Richard cleared his throat awkwardly.
"Do you not agree?" she said, "You deserve love, as I do."
"Perhaps we differ in that manner," he offered her a little smile. "The idea of love... it is far too much pressure on me."
Daphne blinked. They saw the world differently. But unlike Ambrose, their difference did not complement each other. Rather, it was like they spoke different languages all together.
A match between them never had a chance.
"Well, I hope that you do find it," her voice softened. "I am sorry, Lord Richard. For.. for all of us."
