The question caught her by surprise, and she was not sure if she had an answer for him.
“I…” she started, and then stopped again. “I am not sure what I am meant to do in situations like this.”
“Stand up for yourself,” he exclaimed, flustered. “That is what you are meant to do. I have seen this as a pattern with you.”
Penelope’s cheeks began to warm. He did have a point, though she had willed herself not to think about these things.
“I was not always like this,” she admitted finally, catching his attention immediately. “I suppose that I’ve changed, over the years.”
Alexander knitted his eyebrows together, trying to figure her out.
“Why is that?”
“I…” she stumbled on her words again, and toyed with the hem of her blouse. “I suppose I’ve realized that it is best to stay out of trouble by keeping my mouth shut. I’ve gotten into trouble before, and it’s not had the best impact on my life.”
Alexander pinched the bridge of his nose. “By chance, does this have anything to do with the first time you were at the altar?”
Penelope froze. It had happened over a year ago, and she had never brought it up with him before.
“I do not mean to overstep,” Alexander said, more softly this time. “It was just something I have been thinking about. Those ladies at the ball, they mentioned it as well, and I realized that…”
“We have never talked about it before,” she completed his sentence for him. “Well, I suppose it was no longer relevant, considering that it happened a while ago. But if we are going to speak about it, now is as good of a time as ever.”
Alexander said nothing, only listened.
“I was to marry a lord,” she said, feeling a bitter taste in her mouth at the memory alone. “My father arranged the marriage. He said that his decision was final, and I was to marry him, whether or not I wished to.”
“Heavens,” Alexander muttered under his breath, clenching his fist. “Has that man ever had a good idea?”
“It was a great idea. In his head,” Penelope shrugged. “My father thought that me marrying a lord would be lucrative for him.”
“In business terms?”
“Or social ones,” Penelope shrugged. “I do not really understand his logic, so I cannot speak for him. Isadora protested against it, however. She knew it immediately, and pleaded with my father that Harry was not the right man.”
“Harry,” Alexander repeated the name with such venom that it startled Penelope.
“But Father went ahead and arranged for the ceremony. It was only on the day of the wedding that Isadora managed to stop it from happening,” Penelope recalled. “She had made a deal with the Duke of Galston.”
“Her husband?” Alexander’s eyes widened slightly.
“Yes, he had the influence to stop the wedding,” Penelope nodded. “I was lucky. Most women aren’t pulled out of situationslike that. But I suppose Isadora would have sold her soul to keep me safe.”
“My father only ever saw me as a means to an end,” she added after a moment, the bitterness slipping through. “First Harry, and then another. Both were dreadful men, but they were useful to him. In his eyes, that was enough.”
Alexander’s jaw had clenched and he was now staring at the floor, unmoving.
“What felt like an escape for me,” she sighed, “was a smear on my reputation. Thetonwas happy to discuss my private life, and I am sure that if I did not marry you in time, Father would have attempted to marry me off to a third, worse off man.”
“That would not have happened,” Alexander interrupted loudly. “You would not have married anyone else.”
There was a strange possessiveness in his voice that left her speechless momentarily.
“I was just…” she whispered, “I was just suggesting a possibility to explain how Father is.”
“Well, then in the future, please do not make such suggestions,” he chided her. “I appreciate you telling me this.”
Penelope opened her mouth to retort, but Alexander had already concluded the conversation, as he began walkingupstairs to his study without so much as another word. Penelope could see that his fists remained tightly clenched as he walked.
