"I thought that too. But if the alternative is to spend the rest of my life pining over someone I can't have…well, by comparison to that, marriage no longer sounds so bad."
Cressida sighed. "I still think you've given up too fast," she said. "If you truly have feelings for the duke…"
"Cressida, James doesn't care for me."
"But from what you're saying, it sounds as if he never actually told you that," Cressida pointed out. "It sounds like you're making an assumption."
"I'm not making an assumption. I'm drawing a conclusion based on evidence. I'm being perfectly logical." She thought about the kiss—the kiss she would never confide in anyone about, not even her sister. "If he had feelings for me, Cressida, he would have told me. I'm sure of it. If he felt anything at all for me, I would know. You must trust me when I say that he doesn't care, and he's ready to be rid of me."
Cressida held her hand and said nothing at all. Her doubt showed on her face, but she took pity on Victoria and did not argue the matter any further.
CHAPTER 35
"Your Grace, you have a visitor."
James looked up at Maxwell. "I have a visitor?"
"He just arrived."
"It's not Lord Harbury, is it?" He would have been shocked. Lord Harbury should be at the church already. And yet, who else would be paying James a visit, today of all days? What could this possibly be about?
"It's His Grace the Duke of Redmayne."
William? What is he doing here?James frowned. "Did he say what he wanted?"
"No, Your Grace. Only that it was important that he see you at once. Shall I show him in? Or would you prefer that I send him away?"
"No, I'll see him," James said. "I suppose if he came all the way over here, it's the least I can do. You can send him in, Maxwell."
"Yes, Your Grace." The butler withdrew.
James settled back in his chair, wondering what this could possibly be about. It was a very strange day, to be sure, and he hadn't left his office all morning. He hadn't even gone to breakfast. He'd been too intent on avoiding Victoria. The idea of speaking to her today was more than he thought he could tolerate.
You have only yourself to blame for the way you feel about this,he reminded himself.You are the one who told her to accept this proposal, to embrace this marriage. There's no sense in being upset with her now because she did as you asked.
He knew that was right. But even though he knew it, his heart wouldn't follow the advice of his head. Even though there was nothing to be angry about, he felt angry all the same. Howcouldshe be marrying Lord Harbury today? How could it all have happened so quickly? Did she truly care nothing at all for everything that had happened between the two of them? How could she leave it behind her with such ease?
Apparently she could do it, thought. She would say her vows today, and by nightfall, she would be gone—gone from this house and gone from his life.
And I have only myself to blame.
The door to the office opened once more and William strode in. He regarded James quietly for several moments, and neither man spoke.
He's waiting for me to break the silence.But James could think of nothing to say. His thoughts were a maelstrom. It was impossible to find words for his friend.
Finally, William broke the silence. "You're still here," he said. "I expected you would have left already."
"Where did you expect that I was going to go?" James asked, though he knew what the answer would be.
"The wedding is set to begin in an hour's time," William said.
James shifted in his desk chair, staring out his window at nothing at all. "I know when the wedding is to be held," he said. "Do you think I'm not aware?"
"I don't know," William said. "I was taken by surprise myself that they were having it so soon. I would have thought there would be more time between the proposal and the wedding."
"They sought special permission to marry quickly."
"No, I understand that, and it doesn't surprise me that it was granted," William said. "After all, the duchess is an object of curiosity here in London, and everyone is eager to see this wedding. No, the part that surprises me is that they wanted a hasty marriage at all. I thought you told me that the duchess was apprehensive about marrying. I would have imagined that she would want more time."
