Victoria couldn't help it—she burst out laughing. "You can'tpossiblymean to suggest that people will think I could be guilty of murder because I shared a dance with a kind gentleman!"
"People will think all kinds of things. Victoria, you aren'tcarefulwith your reputation. You've spent too long not worrying about the opinions of others, and youmustthink about that now. You don't have the freedom and the luxury to do as you wish without taking that into account."
"He asked me to dance and I said yes!" Victoria threw up her hands in frustration. "You're acting as if I committed a crime! I think it would have been rude to tell him no, frankly. He was so kind to me—and come to think of it, why didn't you tell me that you had a brother?"
"Do I have to tell you everything about myself? It never came up."
"You'd think it would have come up when we first met one another. When he first introduced himself to me. You were standing right there. Why didn't you tell me who he was?"
"I suppose it hasn't occurred to you that I didn't want you to know who he was."
"Oh, it's occurred to me," Victoria bit out. "My question iswhy? Why are you keeping such a strange secret? He's a perfectly pleasant gentleman—why don't you want me to know him?"
"It's no business of yours," James told her. "Nothing about my family is any business of yours. And from now on, I expect you to stay away from my brother. If you and he should cross paths at any future parties, I don't want to see you associating with him."
"I mean, my goodness, James. You act as if he's some sort of violent criminal who might put my safety or virtue at risk. He's your brother."
"You never know who might be a violent criminal, though, do you?" He shot her a pointed look. "Perhaps you're not the one whose safety I'm concerned about!"
His words hit her as hard as if he had slapped her, and she physically staggered back.
He couldn't have meant that. Perhaps she had misunderstood—shemusthave misunderstood, mustn't she? He couldn't possibly be saying that he was concerned, after all, that she might be a murderer? He couldn't be saying he was trying to keep her from Benjamin because he was worried she might be putting Benjamin in danger?
But that was exactly what he had said. She couldn't question it. He had spoken clearly and had left no room for doubt.
She shivered. He was the one person—outside of her own family, of course—who she had been sure believed her. She had allowed herself to trust that his opinion of her was good and true. She had, she realized now, allowed herself to start caring what people thought of her again, because James had made her believe that people could see her and like her for who she was.
If that wasn't the case…
She didn't know what to think. She only knew that she didn't want to stand here with him anymore. She couldn't bear having this conversation for a moment longer.
She hurried up the steps, turning her back to him. As she ran away, she half expected that he would call her back, and she was already planning how she would respond when he did. Would she grant him the opportunity to apologize? He didn't deserve it—not after speaking to her that way. Not after making such a heartless accusation, when he had allowed her to believe that he understood what kind of person she was. If he saw her as a murderer, why should she hear his apologies?
But her thoughts were wasted. Whatever she might have done in response to an apology, she never found out, because he didn't call after her or try to convince her to return. And Victoria was far too proud to look back on her own. If he wasn't going to try to call to her, she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing that she had any further interest in speaking to him.
By the time she reached her bedroom, her anger and indignation had overpowered her shock and hurt at what he had said. How dare he speak to her like that? Heknewshe wasn't guilty of that murder! How many times had he assured her that he knew it was only a rumor and that all she needed to do was to ignore the gossips? The most maddening part of all was that she still believed that was true—she still thought he understood that she was innocent. He had said what he had tonight out of a desire to hurt her, nothing more, and that made it all the worse.
He wasn't trying to protect his brother. If it had truly been that, she could almost have understood. She might have found a way to forgive him. But it wasn't that at all. It was just that he was angry at not having been able to control her, and he had lashed out like this in order to cope with that.
She went to her window seat and stared out at the night sky, pondering the situation.
Why was he so upset in the first place? That was the part that didn't make any sense to Victoria, no matter how much she thought about it.
He had always been controlling, of course, and that aspect of his character was no real surprise to her. But there was something different about this situation. Why had he been so hesitant to let her know that Benjamin was his brother? Surely that couldn't be such a big secret—and yet he had treated it in much the same way as he had when he had found her making changes to the furnishings in the manor without his permission, as if she had overstepped some imperceptible boundary.
She let out a sigh.
Getting to know Benjamin had been, by far, the most enjoyable part of the evening. She had truly taken pleasure in his company. Given her own way, she would have very much liked to see him again—but it didn't seem likely that she would get her own way when it came to that. The next time there was a ball, she would have to be careful to stay away from Benjamin—at least, she would if she didn't want to incur James' wrath.
Then again, maybe she didn't care what James thought anymore. Maybe the lesson of tonight's events was that she had allowed herself to become too invested in what he thought about her, and that it was time to return her focus to what she wanted. And maybe she wanted to be friends with James' brother, no matter what he might have to say about it.
Outside, she heard the distant cry of a bird. It was a lovely sound, but for the first time since her very first night here at Stormwell, looking out at the outside world made Victoria feel trapped. For the first time in years, she couldn't help thinking that to get away might actually be a relief.
CHAPTER 23
"HeknowsI didn't do it." Victoria paced, spitting her words as if they were little explosions in her mouth. "He knows I had nothing to do with the late duke's death, and he said that to me anyway!"
She'd hoped that her anger might abate overnight, but it hadn't. If anything, she had awoken angrier than ever, ready to face James down and let him know exactly what she thought of the way he had spoken to her last night. But she had recognized that such a confrontation wouldn't serve her well, so she'd decided to leave the house before things could go in that direction instead.
