"What about this," he suggested. "What if we changed the terms of our arrangement?"
Victoria frowned. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean," she admitted. "What terms are you referring to?"
"We agreed that you needed to marry, and that I would be responsible for finding you a husband," James said. "Is that not correct?"
"I wouldn't say that we had agreed on that," Victoria said. "My recollection is that you insisted on it, not that it was an agreement."
"Well, regardless," James said, feeling a bit uncomfortable in the knowledge that she was correct, "what of a different arrangement?"
"What kind of arrangement?" Victoria asked. "Do you mean to suggest that I wouldn't have to marry?"
"I still think you ought to marry," James replied. "But what if I said you could choose the gentleman for yourself? Would that make it more tolerable?"
"You're not afraid that if you allow me to choose, I won't choose anyone at all?" Victoria asked him. "You know I haven't meant to marry. You know that if you hadn't come into my life I would never have attempted it. What makes you think I will make any choice at all?"
"That's part of our deal," James said. "That's part of the deal I'm trying to make with you right now. If you agree to this, you are agreeing to do all you can to find yourself a husband by the end of the season. You will agree to stop resisting, to stop being stubborn and putting up a fight. And in exchange, I will let you have the final say when it comes to the matter of who you marry. I will not make an arrangement for you, and I will not force you into a marriage with any gentlemen against your will."
"You would really do this?" Victoria asked, looking up at him. She still had tears in her eyes, and James noticed that his arm was still around her. He felt no urge to remove it. It made him feel powerful to hold her close like this, to provide her with comfort after what had happened. It made him feel important and needed, and it also alleviated some of the guilt he felt over bringing the terrible Lord Blackburn into their lives.
"I will agree if you will agree," he told Victoria. "Nothing has been gained by the two of us fighting each other at every turn. Perhaps we will be more useful to one another as allies. If we can agree to help one another instead of pushing against one another, we can get you married all the more easily, and to someone who is worthy of you. Will you agree to this new arrangement?"
"I will," Victoria said.
James thought that perhaps he was being foolish to believe her. After all, she had done so much to vex him in the short time they had known one another. And yet, even acknowledging that, he couldn't help but feel that this time she was telling the truth. There was something very sincere in her eyes as she looked at him, and it made him feel as if he was doing the right thing by trusting her.
As he had in the past, he found himself feeling sudden pang of sadness at the thought of what the future would hold for the two of them. He realized he would miss her antics. He would miss wondering what the next day would bring. Even though he knew it was for both of their own good that she had agreed tocooperate, he had to admit that he'd enjoyed watching to see the next way she would try to thwart him. Now that was at an end. And soon enough, she would be married and leaving the house. He supposed he would see her again from time to time, at balls and other affairs, but she would no longer be a presence in his everyday life before long.
It was hard to believe, as he held her in his arms, that everything between them was temporary — that it was all coming to an end already.
It was hard to believe that he was actually going to miss it when it was all over. How had things reached this point? He had never seen it coming.
Victoria sat up straight pulling free from his arms, pulled out a handkerchief, and dabbed at her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said, tucking the handkerchief away. "You'll have to forgive me for losing control like that. It was just that the things he said were very upsetting to me."
"You don't need to apologize for that," James told her. "What he said was upsetting. I would wonder about you if you hadn't been upset by it. Nothing that happened was your fault. He was out of line and the way he spoke to you, and I am to blame for having left him alone with you. You did nothing wrong and you have nothing to apologize for."
Victoria gave him a weak smile and nodded to show that she understood what he was saying. "Thank you," she said. "It trulymeans a lot to me to hear you say that. I'm so grateful to know that I have someone on my side."
"I'm sorry you've doubted that," James said. "In all actuality, I have to admit that I wasn't truly on your side before now. You were right when you said that what I cared about most was handing off responsibility for you to someone else. I didn't believe I could restore your reputation on my own — I still don't know if I can do that."
"You know that I don't need you to do that, don't you?" Victoria asked him. "I know that's something you want. I know my reputation is of vital importance to you. But to me…"
"I know," James said. "You've allowed yourself to believe that your reputation doesn't matter to you. You've come to the conclusion that what people think of you is unimportant. I think you believe that because you've decided that you don't have the power to make a difference in the things they think and the things they say. But I don't think that's true, Victoria. Just think about it: in the short time you and I have known one another you have made me see you for who you truly are. If I can see it, everyone else can see it too."
Victoria pressed her lips together, and James could see that she was unsure. But eventually, she nodded.
Come what may, they had become a team tonight, and they would now work toward a common goal.
The only trouble was, James could no longer say it was a goal he wholeheartedly wanted to reach.
CHAPTER 17
"It's your move," said William Draycott, the Duke of Redmayne.
James surveyed the chessboard, contemplating the possible moves before him.
William laughed. "I should have known this game would be a long one," he said. "You've always been so indecisive. Just make a move! What's the worst that could happen?"
"I could lose the game," James said.
