They were parted slightly. He inhaled sharply as he took them in, unable to turn his mind from the thought of kissing her.
It was a mad thought, of course. He knew perfectly well that it was the last thing he should be considering. He wasn't truly considering it. It was just that she was so… So engaging. And he couldn't deny that she was beautiful. If he had met her under different circumstances, if she was another person altogether, he might be considering kissing her. A part of him almost wished he could.
He had been staring at her lips for too long. He forced his gaze back up to her eyes.
She had noticed what he was looking at. He could tell it once by the fact that her cheeks had gone rose petal pink. She took a quick step backwards.
But she must've been flustered, for she tripped over her feet and stumbled. James's hand flashed out without his thinking about it, and he caught her by the waist before she could fall. It was necessary to pull her close, to catch her against his own body in order to stabilize her, so when she gasped in shock, he felt the rise of her body against his and it felt like lightning had run down his spine. His heart seemed to miss several beats.
She stared into his eyes, looking as if she was searching for something.
James couldn't begin to sort out all the things he was feeling. He was excited by her, by the opportunity to hold her against him even though he knew they shouldn't be doing any such thing. At the same time, his anger had not abated. She thought she could just refuse to go along with his plans? What did she think, thatshe could stay here in this house with him forever? Did she feel entitled to call this place her home even now? And she was just going to refuse all the effort that he had put into finding her a better situation?
All because she wanted to resist being controlled?
"I can tell you one thing," he said. He was aware that he was trembling, though he didn't know if it was from excitement or rage or some heady combination of both. "You certainly have a knack for making me lose my control. So I wouldn't be too quick to assume that you are the only one out of control these days."
He pushed her away from him rather roughly — more roughly than he would have done if he had been fully in control of himself. Knowing that he needed to distance himself from her until he could get a tighter grip on his emotions, he turned and hurried from the room, leaving her to watch him go.
CHAPTER 15
"Welcome, Lord Blackburn," James said. "I'm so glad you were able to join us this evening."
Victoria had done her best to put up as much resistance to this dinner as she possibly could. There was no way she could avoid being here, of course. She had thought about trying to stay in her room, but she knew it wouldn't have been allowed. James would have sent someone to bring her down. He might even have come himself.
That didn't mean that she had to cooperate, though. She knew that James would have liked her to dress in one of her finer gowns, but she had chosen something older instead, something ill fitted that didn't flatter her figure. It probably wouldn't stop Lord Blackburn from staring at her. Just based on the short interaction they'd had, she could tell that he was the type of man who liked to stare. But she wouldn't do anything to invite his gaze.
James had frowned at her when she had come down the stairs, so she knew he didn't approve of what she was wearing. That knowledge made her feel good. It felt as if her tiny resistance was having an effect, even though she knew there was very little she could do to save herself from her fate.
Now Lord Blackburn stood staring at her, just as she had predicted. Though her pale pink gown did nothing to enhance her complexion, though the fashion was two seasons old, he seemed not to see it at all. Victoria had the uncomfortable feeling that she had appeared before him wearing far too little. "Good evening, Your Grace," Lord Blackburn said. "Good evening to you, Your Grace. I'm very pleased to see you both again. It was kind of you to invite me to dinner. I look forward to getting to know you better, Your Grace." This last comment was directed toward Victoria. His eyes had not left her since he had begun speaking.
Victoria found that she didn't know what to say to him. She managed to incline her head in response, though she couldn't come up with anything to actually communicate.
James seemed to decide that he needed to speak for her. "The dowager duchess has been so looking forward to seeing you again," he commented. "She has been practicing a piece on the pianoforte, eager to perform for you. We'll have to make sure that we make time for it tonight. She's practiced night and day."
James shot her a glance. Victoria seethed silently. She understood what he was doing. He was mocking her, trying to make her feel foolish for the way she had gotten up in the middleof the night to practice the pianoforte. He was pointing out to her that he knew the only reason she had done it was to try to bother him while he was sleeping. She had no interest in playing for Lord Blackburn, of course, but now she was going to have to. She had no one to blame but herself, and James was making sure she knew that.
He wouldn't win this game. "That's right," Victoria agreed. "I've practiced hard, my lord. I hope you enjoy music."
"I'm indifferent to music," Lord Blackburn said, and he did sound different. He sounded as though he were discussing something less interesting than the weather. "But I wouldn't want to make light of your work if you practiced so hard. I'm happy to listen if you wish to perform for me."
"Thank you very much, my lord," Victoria said, inclining her head once more. "You're very kind."
"Yes," James agreed. "I really can't overstate how much this means to the Duchess, Lord Blackburn. And her playing is delightful. I'm sure you will enjoy it."
"What I would really enjoy is a nice drink," Lord Blackburn said. "And a nice piece of meat as well. What are we having for dinner?"
"Pheasant," James told him.
"That sounds fine," Lord Blackburn said. "And will it be ready soon?"
"It should be ready now," James replied. "Shall we go through to the dining room? I'll have drinks brought out for all of us."
"Perhaps just for the two of us," Lord Blackburn said. "We wouldn't want the young lady to become faint again."
"That's not a matter of concern," Victoria said. "It was only the heat. I feel perfectly fine today."
"Even so, I would prefer it." Lord Blackburn raised an eyebrow.
