Cecilia settled into the chair opposite her, a gentle smile on her lips. “You seem troubled, Diana. Is everything well? I think that your sister is worried about you.”
Diana sighed, closing her book and resting it on her lap. “I wish that she would not worry about me so much,” Diana said. Shehad thought that the conversation they had had earlier would have settled everything in Grace’s mind, but perhaps her sister’s feelings were more complex than she had realized. “Grace has enough to think about herself, without fretting about me.”
Cecilia grinned. “And what does Grace have to think about? She seems to me to be the perfect example of a carefree young lady. You have taken on all the worries of the world for her, and all she has to do is float around looking beautiful!”
Diana chuckled. “She is a little more serious about life than all that, I think. At least I hope that she is.” She paused and looked at Cecilia. “I have told her that I will not stand in her way, if she wishes to marry Tristan.”
Cecilia’s eyes widened with surprise. “Is that so? I thought that you did not approve of him?”
“I have given my approval,” Diana said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I confess that I still have some doubts about him, but Grace knows her own mind. She must decide for herself. And if she truly believes that he loves her, and makes her happy, then she should marry him. It is what is best for both of them, and Grace deserves happiness. I cannot allow my own feelings to interfere.” As she said the last words, she hoped that Cecilia would not interpret the true meaning that she felt in her heart as she uttered them. She had to forget her own feelings for Tristan, and step aside, allowing him to marry Grace instead. But Cecilia could never know that. No one could. They must all simply believe that she had cast aside her doubts about his character, and decided to allow the match. There could never beany question in anyone’s mind that the situation was any more complicated than that.
Cecilia regarded her thoughtfully, a knowing expression crossing her face. “You have a kind heart, Diana. But are you certain that you are really happy with this situation? You seemed deeply unconvinced the last time we spoke of this matter.”
“Yes,” she replied, though the word felt heavy on her tongue. “I want Grace to be happy, and if that means putting aside my own doubts and releasing her from my interference, then so be it.”
Cecilia leaned forward, her expression serious. “You must understand that Tristan is not just any man. He has faced tremendous burdens in his life.”
Diana furrowed her brow, intrigued. “What do you mean?”
“He was just a child when he inherited the title,” Cecilia explained, her tone softening. “He was so young, barely even an adult, when he had to take on the responsibilities of his family, including raising me and Nathaniel after our parents death.” She paused and looked away, the emotion clear on her face and in her voice. “Of course, the loss of them was devastating for all of us, but it was down to Tristan to shoulder the full weight of those responsibilities. And he had no one to support him, no older family members to help him in his work as the earl. He had to learn it all by himself.”
Diana listened intently, her heart aching for Tristan as she began to understand the depth of his struggles. “I had no idea,” shemurmured, her mind racing with new revelations. “No wonder he can be so guarded.”And no wonder he seems not to know what he wants,she added silently to herself. Perhaps he had never really had the chance to think about what he wanted, for himself, if his whole adult life had been consumed by worrying about other people and what was best for them. It was a huge burden on a young man, to take over an estate with little guidance from older family members, and to care for two younger siblings as well. It felt, to Diana, all too familiar, echoing her own experience of life more closely than she had ever cared to admit up to now.
“Exactly,” Cecilia continued. “He has felt lonely for so long, and it makes sense that he would find it difficult to trust others for advice or support. He does not let people in easily.”
Diana nodded slowly, reflecting on her own misconceptions about him. “Perhaps I really have been wrong about him,” she said, almost without realizing that she was speaking her thoughts out loud.
Her thoughts flew back to the moments before their kiss, when he had poured out his feelings to her. Maybe it all was real, she thought. Perhaps he truly did care for her, but he knew that it was his duty to marry a woman like Grace instead, a woman who would be a proper countess and support him in managing his estate. Perhaps this was just another sacrifice that he had to make for other people.
But no, surely that was not the case. She was imagining things that weren’t there. She pushed the thoughts away. He wasmarrying Grace because he wanted to, and for no other reason. And that was all there was to it.
“I think that Grace will be the perfect wife for him,” Cecilia said, smiling. “I am glad that it seems as if things will work out for them. I only hope that he will allow himself to embrace the opportunity, and not hold back any longer from speaking to her.”
Diana sighed, a mixture of longing and melancholy flooding her. “As I said, I will not stand in their way,” she reiterated. “I truly want Grace to find happiness with him.”
Cecilia smiled, sensing Diana’s resolve. “That is a wise decision. And you should know that Tristan values your opinion more than you realize.”
Diana blinked, surprised. “You think so? I was under the impression that my presence was more of an obstacle than anything else.”
“I highly doubt that,” Cecilia replied, shaking her head. “He may be guarded, but he is perceptive. He sees the connection between you and him, even if he does not fully understand it yet.”
Diana bit her lip, determined not to give herself away. No one could know the connection that existed between herself and Tristan. She had to conceal her true feelings from everyone, forever.
“I always thought that Tristan was only trying to win me over to get closer to Grace,” Diana said, and she knew in her heart that there was truth in those words. Even now, she did not fully believe that there had been anything more to it, than his desire to gain her approval, and toy with her emotions for fun at the same time. But perhaps Cecilia was right and there were hidden depths to him. She felt that she needed more time to consider these things, but simultaneously she felt determined not to think of him for a moment longer. It was finished now; the die was cast.
“Well, he has your approval now, at last,” Cecilia said. “And I am sure that he will be glad of it. Now, all we have to do is wait for the announcement.” She smiled. “I think perhaps it will happen tomorrow night, at the garden party. Tristan has been talking about nothing else for days now; he is determined that everything will be perfect on the final night of the party. So perhaps he is planning to propose, to make the night an occasion to remember for everyone!”
Diana forced herself to smile. How could she do otherwise? She had just said that this was what she wanted, even though the thought of it filled her heart with sorrow. “I am looking forward to it very much,” she lied.
Cecilia looked at the book which still lay in Diana’s hands. “Perhaps I will find something to read myself,” she said, getting up from her seat and walking over to one of the large bookcases on the other side of the room. “We can sit comfortably together for a while and read, before dinner. It will be nice to have some peaceful time, before the hubbub of all the other guests begins again.”
Diana felt a surge of relief as silence fell between them again. She opened her book and pretended to read, but once again, she found her thoughts flying in all directions. She had not seen Tristan since last night, and the thought of facing him again loomed large in her mind. Her feelings were complex, but she knew that she had to put them aside, and quickly. Not just for her own sake, but for Grace’s too, because she had decided long ago that Grace’s happiness was far more important than her own, and she would not go back on that promise. Not now, not ever.
CHAPTER 22
The final evening of the house party had finally arrived, and Tristan stood on the terrace, looking out at the garden. All the effort he had put into planning everything to the very last detail, and all the hard work of his servants, had not gone to waste. The garden had been transformed into a dazzling spectacle of twinkling fairy lights and fragrant blooms. The air was alive with the soft melodies of a string quartet, and laughter floated on the gentle breeze, mingling with the scent of roses and jasmine. Guests strolled along the winding pathways, their gowns and cravats swaying in time with the music. Everything was perfect. His plans had all come to fruition, and the dancing had not even begun yet. This was to be the highlight of the evening, especially for the younger guests.
But nevertheless, as he observed the scene in front of him, he felt unsettled. He had not been able to find a moment’s peace since the night he had kissed Diana in the garden, and even now, as his grand party was drawing to a close, he found that he could not drag his thoughts away from the memory of that night.
