“You are talking nonsense, as usual,” she said dismissively. “You behave like this towards me, and then you say that you will marry my sister. But I see nothing genuine in your behavior towards my sister. She deserves better than what you are offering, if in fact you are offering her anything at all.”
“Of course I have something to offer her,” Tristan bit back. “I am an earl! I am everything she has ever dreamed of!”
“Not if you do not love her!” Diana replied, her voice rising as she spoke. “And I do not think that you do!”
“How can I love her, when all I can think about is you?” He stepped closer to her. “I cannot bear to see you so unhappy, Diana. You frown at me as if you hate me, and it breaks my heart to see it.”
“Your heart? What on earth have I to do with your heart?” she replied, incredulous. He was dangerously close to her now, and she felt an urge to run, but the look in his eyes held her captive, and she felt as if she could not escape.
“It is all because of you, Diana, do you not see it?” he said feverishly. “You are all I think of! You have taken over my mind, and my heart, and I cannot be free of you, no matter how hard I try! It is maddening. You will drive me mad, I am sure of it. I feel like I have lost myself entirely, because of how I feel about you, how much I think about you.”
Diana’s heart skipped a beat at his confession, her breath catching in her throat. “What do you mean?” she asked, her voice trembling slightly.
He stepped closer. “I am drawn to you, Diana, in a way that I cannot resist. You occupy my thoughts, day and night. I am consumed by the way you laugh, the way you smile. I cannot think of anything else.”
Before she fully realized what was happening, he reached for her, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards him. His other hand encircled her waist, and before she knew it, they were close together, closer than she had ever been to any man before. His eyes held hers, and he pressed his lips against hers ina fervent kiss. Her heart was pounding as she felt his mouth pressing against hers, the heat of his lips burning on hers, their bodies pressed close together. It was a collision of emotions - frustration, desire, and the undeniable connection they shared. The world around them faded away, leaving only the two of them in that moment.
But just as quickly as it began, he pulled back, eyes wide with shock at his own impulsiveness. “I - I’m sorry,” he stammered, stepping away. “I should not have- ”
“Tristan,” she breathed, her cheeks flushed, her eyes searching his face for understanding. “What was that?”
“I do not know,” he admitted, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He seemed almost horrified by what had happened, just a few seconds ago. “I should not have let my emotions take over. I need to go. We should not be out here alone.”
Before she could respond, he turned and hurried back toward the house. She stood, reeling, watching him go. Her heart was racing, and her mind was a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts. He had crossed a line, and there was no going back now. What had happened between them could never be undone.
CHAPTER 21
“Grace, I need to speak with you later on today, and Father too,” Diana said.
Her sister looked up at her, from her seat by the window in the drawing room, where she had been reading a book peacefully before Diana had interrupted her.
“Can we not talk now?” Grace said, looking a little confused.
Diana glanced around the room. “No, there are too many people here. Come and find me later on, and we will seek out Father and a quiet place to talk.”
Grace nodded, still looking a little perturbed. “Very well, if that is what you wish,” she agreed, then turned back to her book.
Diana crossed the room and went to stand by the fireplace. It was raining outside, and the guests were gathered in the drawing room, spending the morning playing cards and drinking tea. Theatmosphere in the room felt stifling, somehow; even though it was a large room, and not at all crowded, as people were spread all around, there was a slight sense of energy spilling beyond the confines of the room. Diana felt that what she really wanted to do was go outside, but of course everyone would think her odd if she went out walking in the rain. And they all already thought she was odd, she reflected.
She did not want to talk to anyone, though, so she went to find a book, and sat down in a corner, facing away from the center of the room. With the book in her hands, she stared at the pages in front of her, but the words swam before her eyes.
How could she concentrate on a single thing, after what had happened last night? She felt a weight in her chest that would not leave her, at the thought of the kiss she had shared with Tristan. The moment of joy at the feeling of his lips against hers had soon evaporated, when she realized the significance of what had passed between them. Any pleasant memory had faded away as she had spent another sleepless night tossing and turning, filled with guilt, and now she was left with a profound sense of guilt. How could she have allowed herself to act so impulsively, especially with a man who was courting her sister? She should have pushed him away, told him to leave her alone. No, she should never even have allowed herself to be alone with him outside last night, nor when they were together in the maze a few days before. She had lost control of herself completely, and now all she could do was pray that no one ever found out what she had done.
She was sure, too, that he was still playing with her, somehow. All those things he had said about her could not possibly be true.How could a woman like her have captivated him, when he had a choice of any woman he wanted? And when he was destined to marry Grace, who was far prettier and more graceful than she would ever be? Grace would be the perfect countess, and everyone could see it.
Tristan was simply a rake, and unable to resist the opportunity in front of him, out there in the darkness. Because if he had meant anything by it, then why would he have fled from her the way that he did? If it had been real, what he had said, then he would have stayed, and talked to her some more, instead of leaving her standing alone in the garden, wondering what on earth the meaning was of what had passed between them.
No, she was resolved. She closed the book with a snap. She would speak to Grace and her father later, and ensure that everything was finally settled, and then she would try to move on from all of this, and make some plans for her own life. Plans that had nothing to do with Tristan.
She went upstairs to her chamber to rest for a while, knowing that before the day was over, everything would be decided.
Later, when she came downstairs, she found her sister and her father sitting together in the drawing room.
“We waited for you, Diana,” Grace said, looking up as she entered and setting aside the embroidery that she had been working on. “Everyone else has gone upstairs to get ready for luncheon, but I knew that you wanted to speak to us.”
“Yes, indeed,” Diana said, sitting down in an armchair opposite them. “I am glad that we will not be interrupted. It is so difficult to find a quiet moment, amongst so many people.”
“It is all very mysterious,” Grace said. “Won’t you end our suspense? We have just been wondering what it is that you wish to say. Has Lord Anthony made you an offer?”
