“I do not know what you expect me to say,” Tristan said, waving a hand in front of his face to bat away an irritating fly. “I am sure she is quite pleasant, and will make a perfectly good wife. There is nothing more to it than that.” He could sense a hint of annoyance coming into his voice but he could do nothing to stop it, it seemed. “You know as well as I do that these affairs are rarely about what we desire. It is best perhaps not to think too much about it.”
Cecilia’s brow furrowed. “I cannot understand your behavior at all, Tristan. You say that it is Lady Grace that you are interested in marrying, and you invite her here to get to know her better. But then you refuse to take the matter seriously.”
“I will take it seriously in my own good time,” Tristan insisted. He was not especially enjoying this conversation with his sister, and he was rathe keen for it to be over. “Shall we pick up our pace a little, and try to catch up with the others?”
“No, Tristan, I will finish this conversation with you,” Cecilia said firmly.
Tristan felt a little confused with her intensity. “Very well,” he conceded. “What else is it that you wish to say?” He felt a moment of heaviness as he waited for her to speak. Joke around as he might, he had always taken his responsibilities seriously, and he did not like it that his sister seemed troubled. Even so, he did not feel quite ready to share everything with her that was on his mind just at that moment.
“I would like to know why you have been spending so much time with Lady Diana?” Cecilia asked. “I could not help but think it was strange that you decided to be in a team with Diana yesterday, rather than Grace. If it is Grace you are serious about, what is it that draws you to her sister?”
Tristan could not help but feel a flicker of amusement at her question. He had been foolish, he thought, to think that his attentions to Diana would go unnoticed. “Lady Diana is…how shall I put it? A guard dog of sorts. It has become clear to me that I need her approval if I want to marry Lady Grace.”
Cecilia stopped in her tracks on the path and stared at him, incredulous. “You’re joking,” she said, eyes wide with shock. “You, Tristan Everton, bending over backwards for anyone’s opinion? I cannot believe that you are being serious. Since when have you ever cared what anyone thought of you?”
Tristan raised an eyebrow. Perhaps his sister did not know him quite so well as she thought she did. There were many things in life that he took seriously, but he had spent many years practicing keeping them hidden, under a carefully-protected façade. And today was not the day that he was going to allow it to all come crumbling down.
“And yet here we are,” he replied with a shrug. “There is more to navigating the waters of matrimony than mere affection, I have learnt. It is not enough that I like Lady Grace, and that she likes me – or at least, I believe that she does. There is more to the whole business than that.”
Cecilia shook her head, as if she were trying to comprehend her brother’s logic. “But you’ve never cared about anyone’s approval before. Why her sister now?”
A shadow crossed Tristan’s face, a flicker of something unnamable, and for a moment, he felt as if he were wrestling with his own thoughts. “Perhaps I’ve simply grown tired of the usual game,” he replied, though he knew that his voice lacked conviction. “Besides, Lady Diana has a way of making her feelings known. It seems to me to be… prudent to try to earn her favor. I will not make any progress with Lady Grace without it. Their father, for example, seems utterly uninterested in the whole thing. I think I could marry either or both of his daughters in front of his nose and he would not notice.”
“Tristan, you cannot say such things!” Cecilia exclaimed.
“Yes I can,” Tristan insisted. “I can say what I like, in my own garden on my own estate.”
“Well, then. You talk of being prudent, but I think I have never heard you use that word before in your life,” Cecilia went on.
“Perhaps it is time I improved my vocabulary, in that case!” Tristan said. He laughed, but somehow his mirth seemed forced. He could not deny that his feelings were complex, but he did not even want to face them himself, let alone discuss them with his sister.
“I think you are right that we should join the others,” Cecilia declared, beginning to walk along the path again. “But I mustsay, Tristan, that I am confused. You have always been so responsible, but in this question of matrimony, you seem to be reluctant to make any commitment at all.”
He laughed, but it was hollow, echoing in the quiet morning air. “Commitment issues? You wound me, dear sister.” His eyes sparkled with mischief, but he could tell Cecilia knew him too well to be fooled.
“Then what is it?” she pressed, her tone softened now as she expressed what Tristan knew to be genuine concern. “You seem to be drawn to Diana in a way I’ve never seen before. It’s as if she has some hold over you.”
Tristan’s laughter faded, leaving behind a contemplative silence. “She intrigues me, I suppose. But it’s nothing more than that,” he insisted, though the words felt forced even to his own ears.
Cecilia studied him. “I am not sure you are being honest with yourself. I’ve seen how you look at her. You enjoy her company, don’t you?”
He opened his mouth to retort but found no words. Instead, he turned his gaze back to the garden. The colors were vibrant, blurring into a wash of greens and yellows.
“I enjoy her company, and soon she will be my sister-in-law,” Tristan said. “I just need to convince her that I am a suitable match for Lady Grace, and everything will work out well.”
Cecilia sighed. “I am not convinced, Tristan. But I can tell that you do not want to discuss it any further. Come, let us rejoin the party.”
Tristan complied with her request, and they headed along the path towards the lake. This weekend he was the host, and he was responsible for all his guests’ happiness, so he knew that he could not vanish for long periods of time. He had work to do, even while the others had fun.
And yet, as they rejoined the group and he partook in their chatter and frivolity, his mind kept on returning to Lady Diana. What had started out as a game was rapidly turning into something else, and he did not fully know how to process his own feelings.
He should not be allowing himself to get distracted from his responsibilities, he told himself. A title, a legacy…all these things he had to think of. And yet, behind the banter and the teasing, he felt such a strong connection with Lady Diana that he thought he could ignore it no longer.
But what was to be done? He was going to marry Lady Grace. The decision had been made. She was the one who would make a suitable wife for him, a suitable countess to help him manage his estate.
And yet he found that it was Diana who he thought about when she was not there. Even now, he regretted his decision earlier that morning not to send her a note. He found himself hoping that she was feeling better, and worrying that she might not be.
No matter what he did, she lingered in his thoughts. And as the morning progressed into the afternoon, the situation did not improve. His thoughts drifted back to Diana, her sharp wit and unexpected warmth. She was unlike anyone he had ever met. She was truly a force of nature that both intrigued and unsettled him. And as he prepared to go down for dinner, later that evening, nursing a hope that she was well enough to rejoin the party, he could not deny that she had a way of drawing him in. She had ignited something within him that had long lain dormant, and he had no idea what to do about it.
