“That is precisely what you did—.” Isadora let out a humourless laugh. “—when you decided to never have children with me. For a woman, that is rejection in its worst form.”
Evan paused then, bringing the book back down and dropping it to the ground with a thud. His face darkened, and he retreated from her.
“Did it ever occur to you that perhaps the reasoning behind myrejectionhas nothing to do with you,” he swallowed, “and that I might have reasons of my own?”
Isadora’s expression softened, as if Evan had suddenly made her consider a possibility outside of her own feelings. She took a seat back at the table and composed herself.
“Fine then,” she started. “If you believe that I am being childish about this, then I shall be more mature, but you shall have to do the same.”
“I am beingmatureabout this.” Evan shook his head and took a seat himself. It would do him some good, considering how heightened his blood pressure felt in that moment. “Perhaps I am the only person in this situation who is.”
“You say that, but you’ve left me entirely in the dark,” Isadora continued. “I do not even know why you are so vehemently opposed to the idea of us having a family. My friends’ husbands do not object to this—they are thrilled at the idea of a child. But you?—”
“Have you considered that I have not lived the same life that they have?” Evan challenged. His eyes were dark, not with anger but with something far heavier.
He disliked talking about his past more than anything in the world, but when Isadora was being like this, what other choice did he have?
“How am I meant to know when you have never told me?” Isadora swallowed, looking at him now with an expression that did not signal pity but rather a curiosity to know more.
Evan exhaled slowly, dragging a hand through his hair before finally meeting her gaze again.
“Very well,” he murmured. “Let me tell you about my father. He was a man who did not like being tied down. Mistresses, lovers—there were dozens. He was not one to proceed with caution.”
“He had many affairs?” Isadora asked, and Evan did not know what to make of her innocence.
“Affairs is putting it kindly, sweetheart,” he replied in a flat tone. “He had entanglements in the moment, and then he went on with his life, leaving the women he left behind to deal with the consequences. He was a rake and a scoundrel, through and through. A man of pleasures, vices, and selfish indulgences.”
She remained silent, letting him speak.
“My mother was not born into privilege like he was. She was a commoner,” he said, his voice quieter now, as though—even after all these years—he still felt the ghost of her loss. “He pursued her until he finally got her.”
“And then what happened?” Isadora’s voice shook as she spoke.
“What do you think?” Evan countered. “She fell in love with him, but to him, she was nothing more than another passing fancy. Something to entertain him for a while.”
A bitter smile curled at his lips. He tried his hardest not to think of these things, but even now, it made his blood boil whenever he did.
“But she had his child.”
“You see how children are not the solution to everything?” he replied, “My mother thought it might make him stay and that he might change, but that was nothing but a fool’s dream. When he found out about her pregnancy, he left her to fend for herself, carrying a child that he would never claim.”
Isadora gasped loudly, but Evan remained unfazed by her reaction. She was the one who wanted the truth after all.
“My mother raised me on her own,” he continued in a distant voice. “She worked herself to the bone to make sure I had food and shelter. We never really had much, but she made sure to make me feel wanted. I was eighteen when I lost her. The years of labour had finally worn her down.”
“Evan,” Isadora reached forward to touch him, “I am so terribly sorry?—”
“Oh, I’m not done yet, sweetheart.” He pulled away from her. “Even till the end, my mother remained loyal to that man—whohad not so much as bothered to find out if she had been alive all those years. She never uttered a word against him, but I was smart enough to realize what kind of man he was. It is hard not to, you know, when your father is absent from your life.”
Isadora gasped again but did not interrupt this time. He exhaled slowly, forcing himself to stay composed.
“So, I hated him anyway,” Evan continued. “He never intended to recognize me. Had his beloved duchess given him a legitimate heir, he would have gone to his grave pretending I did not exist.”
“But she didn’t,” Isadora derived.
“No,” Evan shook his head. “She never bore him a child. And suddenly, when he had no one else, when his precious legacy was at risk of ending with him, he came looking for me. The bastard that he never wanted to claim. Convenient how that worked out.”
“Is that how you came into your title?”
