Nevertheless, her breath caught in her throat, the reality of the words she’d admitted out loud crashing over her like a wave. She stammered, “I… I don’t even know when I said that! I didn’t mean to?—”
Evie leaned closer, her excitement palpable. “But you said it. That means something, doesn’t it? You feel it deep down, don’t you?”
“Oh, my goodness…” Cecilia pressed her palms against her cheeks, feeling the heat rising as her thoughts spiraled. “I don’t… I didn’t mean…”
“But it’s all right,” She looked up to find a knowing smile spread across Evie’s face. “Oh, Cece, I’m not surprised at all.”
Cecilia’s cheeks flushed a deep crimson. “Wait, you knew? How long have you known?” She felt a mix of embarrassment and relief wash over her, her fingers nervously twisting the hem of her dress.
“Honestly? For a while now. It was so obvious,” Evie replied, her laughter light and infectious. She sat up, leaning closer, her excitement overflowing. “The way your behavior changes when he walks into the room? It’s like you’re a different person!”
Cecilia groaned, burying her face in her hands. “I can’t believe I’ve been so obvious! What if he knows? What if he thinks I’m just some lovesick fool?”
Evie chuckled, pulling Cecilia’s hands away from her face. “You’re not a fool! You’re just in love. And it’s beautiful.” Her tone shifted to one of encouragement.
Cecilia shook her head, her expression turning serious again. “I can’t, Evie. We’re… He’s your brother. I don’t…” she bit her lip, fear taking over, “what if this ruins everything? I don’t want to complicate things for the family. I should have been more cautious with my feelings.”
“Love is not something one can control, dear Cece,” Evie reached out, squeezing Cecilia’s hand. “You won’t ruin anything. You deserve to be happy, too. Just think about it. What if he feels the same way?”
Cecilia’s mind returned to their kiss at the park, to the elongated stares and his fierceness and possessive behavior. Her cheeks flushed and she shook her head.
It couldn’t be possible.
He wants a duchess like Miss Kingman.
Cecilia looked down, her heart pounding. “It matters not, I shall be leaving anyway.”
Evie paused, staring at her in confusion. “But our estates are hardly that far apart. And with you being family, you’re bound to see each other more and-”
“No, Evie.” Cecilia drew in a sharp breath. “I’m leaving, permanently. I’m relocating to Scotland after your wedding.”
The room fell silent and Cecilia watched a myriad of expressions whiz by her friend’s face. Finally, her eyes settled on a pained horror.
“Cecilia, you can’t just leave like this!” Evie exclaimed, her voice a mixture of disbelief and desperation. She sprang up, shifting away as though trying to avoid the information.
Cecilia looked down at the floor, her heart heavy. “I have to, Evie. I can’t keep pretending that everything is fine when it’s not.”
Evie took a step closer, her blue eyes wide with concern. “But Scotland? After the wedding? Why are you in such a hurry to leave?” The panic in her voice rose like a tide, threatening to overwhelm her.
Cecilia inhaled deeply, her chest tightening. It had taken some days to settle on the decision. But now that she had, it was all she wanted to do.
“I can’t stand seeing Alistair with Diana. Every time I see them together, it feels like a knife in my heart.” She glanced out the window as she admitted this, where the afternoon sun cast long shadows across the room, as if mirroring the darkness that had settled within her. “It’s suffocating.”
“Cece…” Evie’s voice softened, and she shifted close once more, reaching out and placing a hand on Cecilia’s arm. “You know you’re stronger than this. You can’t just run away from your feelings. What about your writing? Your dreams?”
“I need to find myself again,” Cecilia replied, her voice barely above a whisper. “I need to focus on my writing, to find some clarity in the solitude of Scotland.” She looked back at Evie, letting out a gasp to find her friend’s blue eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
“Oh Evie…”
Evie shook her head, sniffling as though to fight back the tears, “But what if you regret it? What if you miss everything here?”
“I already miss it,” Cecilia admitted, her voice breaking. “But I can’t let that hold me back. I have to do this for myself .” She wiped a tear that had escaped down her own cheek, her resolve wavering.
She watched Evie step back, feeling the weight of the moment. “I just wish things were different,” she spoke softly, her heart aching for the friendship that felt like it was slipping away.
Cecilia nodded, her expression a mix of longing and sadness. “So do I, but this is necessary.”
CHAPTER 22
